News organizations worldwide have received an ?accidental? release of Mars Rover imagery from the Jet Propulsion Laboratory that independent scientists are suggesting not only confirm that there was life on Mars, but also that it had reached a much higher level of development than previously thought.

JPL said that the imagery was not being kept ?under wraps,? but rather that, given the fact that the artifacts appear to be ?nothing but a bunch of pool balls,? the life forms involved in creating them ?could not have been advanced enough to be of any scientific interest.?

White House Science Adviser Dr. Richard Hoagland said, ?this is just the latest in a series of outrages. We have proof that they have also located fossilized Cheese Whiz, something that looks very like one of Art Bell?s hairpieces, and three missing credit cards from my own wallet.? Conspiracy theorists believe that Dr. Hoagland?s credit cards were purposely sent to Mars by his long-time rival, Dr. Michael Malign of Malign Space Secrets, the company that NASA uses to hide imagery from the public. ?The wig is obviously not from this earth,? said JPL spokesman Dr. George Filer. “Not even a radio host would use that thing.”

The Communion Letters are the single most mysterious document that has ever been assembled in human history. Taken together, they represent a genuine communication from the beyond. They are entirely authentic, most of them written long before the close encounter experience became common knowledge.

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