A weekly reading and discussion group Whitley and I are in seems to fixated on the subject of death right now, which is something that those of us who are actually FACING IT find distressing–I would much rather talk about LIFE.

One thing I learned, that I told everyone there, is that when it’s your time to go, one of your dead friends or relatives will come to help you make the transition. When I nearly died in 2004, my dead Siamese cat came to guide me–or it may have been my mother, or both of them, who knows? Anyway, I felt both presences. This time my dad had has shown up.

Here’s how I discovered this: In our apartment, we have two bathrooms–one designated "his" and the other "hers, "but we are certainly welcome to pee in each other’s pot, and since Whitley’s bathroom is closest to the living room, I often use that toilet.

Whitley has been asking me lately, "Did you use the toilet in my bathroom?" because he seen the seat up, while he always lowers it in case I want to use that toilet. He never leaves it up in the "male" position, and he was thinking maybe I was doing it for him. But I never raise the seat either–even in public bathrooms–ever since I read a New Scientist survey that found that toilet seats are surprisingly clean.

Unlike Whitley, I don’t see ghosts, but I often know they’re around from interpreting what they do, what messages they are sending (I think they want us to know their identity). Lately, though, Whitley has been saying that he has been sensing my dad’s presence. Now, my dad never lowered a toilet seat in his life. So I suspect it’s his droll way of announcing himself. We were estranged before his death because, after my mother’s suicide, he married a woman who was cruel to me, and he did nothing to help me.

During my 2004 NDE, I saw many people sitting in a sort of way station clutching huge bundles. They weren’t going anywhere until they put those packages of hate, bitterness, disappointment and greed down.

I know it’s time for me to put my package of anger at my dad down and forgive him, so he’ll feel free to come when I need him–which, I hope, won’t be soon!

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  1. Dear Anne, the most wonderful
    Dear Anne, the most wonderful thing you can do is forgive. Forgiveness heals, forgiving is for giving yourself the freedom to be happy again. Forgiving releases negative energy.
    When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change…Max Plank.
    Wishing you wellness and love.

  2. Anne, speaking of GHOSTS,
    Anne, speaking of GHOSTS, this was in my inbox today and appears to be a NEW NOVA.

    Perched atop a mountain crest, mysteriously abandoned more than four centuries ago, Machu Picchu is the most famous archeological ruin in the Western Hemisphere and an iconic symbol of the power and engineering prowess of the Inca. In the years since Machu Picchu was discovered by Hiram Bingham in 1911, there have been countless theories about this “Lost City of the Incas,” yet it remains an enigma. Why did the Incas build it on such an inaccessible site? Who lived among its stone buildings, farmed its emerald green terraces, and drank from its sophisticated aqueduct system? NOVA joins a NEW GENERATION of archeologists as they probe areas of Machu Picchu that haven’t been touched since the time of the Incas. See what they discover when they unearth burials of the people who built the sacred site.

    Ghosts of Machu Picchu

    Airing Wednesday
    July 17 at 9 pm on PBS
    (Check local listings)

  3. Yes, hopefully not soon!
    Yes, hopefully not soon! Anne, you show so much courage and grace–you’re truly an inspiration and treasure to everyone here. Be well.

  4. He may be coming just to
    He may be coming just to comfort you at this difficult time. A few years ago my daughter was facing some difficult surgery, the removal of a tumor, possibly cancer. My dad died when she was just 5 years old, but even so they were very close. On the night before her surgery, I awoke at 3 a.m. to his favorite song, playing in my head, with full orchestration (Blue Skirt Waltz, not very common). It continued to play as I sat on the side of the bed, and then I could feel him there right next to me. He asked if I could hear him, which I could. He said he was there because of my concern for my daughter. I’ll never forget that when I asked him, “Will she be all right?” he said “No, she will not BE all right, because she already IS all right. The surgery will be a success, it will bring her relief, and it is NOT cancer.” And you know what…he was correct!

  5. Well God bless you Anne and
    Well God bless you Anne and Whitley. My sister and I are burying our beloved 92 year old father tomorrow. I found him just this past Saturday dead in the bathroom. It was the saddest thing I have ever seen. But he is with his true love Zelma who died in 2011. That is the only thing that sustains me. They are together again.

  6. Thank you, Anne, for this
    Thank you, Anne, for this diary entry. I have kept you in my prayers every night since learning of the little ‘brain companion’ you’re working with. I agree with Ldyhwk369: to forgive would be a wonderful gift of relief and lightness of being for yourself. If you can manage it then perhaps your dad will be able to meet with you in a more ‘current’ version of himself which, hopefully, is more evolved and loving. I’m a firm believer that forgiving and healing not only affects you but also all everyone who is/was genetically connected to you; the gift that keeps on giving 🙂

  7. Dearest Anne – Thank you for
    Dearest Anne – Thank you for your latest diary entry. I love that while you’re going through a vigorous dance with cancer, you still see and experience humor and share it so eloquently with the rest of us! You go, Girl! (or, perhaps I should write, “You stay here with us as long as you want, Girl!” or, “You go anywhere you want, Girl!”)

    And all the best on your journey of forgiveness for your father. He was no doubt a wounded guy or he wouldn’t have behaved the way he did. You are so much stronger, more loving, more evolved, and even with cancer more healthy than he. He was just older and more entrenched in believing in his illusions, so it was easy for others to go along on his ride for a while.

    Maybe with the “Lid’s up,” he is now inviting you to flush all that away!

    Much love to you, Whitley, your son, and I suppose even to your father who is inspiring you to unpack and toss away that heavy suitcase!

    Also, all the best to Nancy Desch, who posted above.

  8. Anne, I’ve thought about your
    Anne, I’ve thought about your NDE experience of the people with baggage many times, and I’ve shared it with others. It’s a perfect picture of the importance of letting go and forgiving those who’ve hurt us. My father left when I was five and my mother died of alcoholism at age 40. Lots for me to forgive, but I work on it every day. Much love to you and your family. I hope you’re with us for many years to come.

  9. Love you Anne. Please stay
    Love you Anne. Please stay awhile, a long while. If Anne must go, then Whitley, please know that humans, help and joy remain available. Same to you Anne should the sweets kill Whitley first.

    Others are here for you. Service is our highest endeavor. Helping is an honor and privilege, not a burden. Don’t be afraid to ask.

    I hear that regrets of actions not taken often outweigh regrets of what we’ve done. I’m dealing with a lot both ways. You seem to be relatively adventurous and forthright. Is it good for you? I hope so. Thank you, sincerely. Keep it up while you can.

  10. I think many times the unseen
    I think many times the unseen show up to remind us they’re still there, that there’s still other realities going on at the same time. Cute, leaving the seat up!

  11. Anne, i asked to share with
    Anne, i asked to share with you in my meditation last week and I felt an wonderful feeling of beauty fall over me – lacy and delicate light – here there and everywhere you will be well.

  12. Thanks for sharing with us
    Thanks for sharing with us this fascinating experience. It seems the “dead” come to us in often very unexpected ways. I’ve lived most of my 59 years of life hearing from numerous spiritual teachers about the importance of forgiveness. But it hasn’t been until this last year that I’ve really begun to understand that forgiveness is crucial. We cannot move on unless we forgive. And some would say that we will be stuck and keep repeating the same (or similar) experiences, until we forgive. Thus, now I’m going through mental lists of everyone, and I mean everyone, who hurt me, and sending them as much “golden light” and forgiveness as I can muster. I am also doing the same for all those I may have hurt, and asking them for their forgiveness. Apparently, this “forgiveness” thing is way more important than I ever dreamed possible. I love you. Keep posting on your Diary!

  13. It will not be soon. You are
    It will not be soon. You are strong and there is a greater purpose on all this. I believe that.

  14. It will not be soon. You are
    It will not be soon. You are strong and there is a greater purpose on all this. I believe that.

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