Stanford University students are being traumatized by squirrels. The campus squirrels have begun bizarre suicidal death leaps into the path of oncoming student bikers.”Yesterday, I was riding my bike along Escondido Road, when all of a sudden, my friend Katie screamed at me,” says Vauhimi Vara. “When I turned around, it turned out I had almost biked over a dead squirrel … It was quite traumatic.”

“It’s really hard to even ride your bike on campus,” says Katie Founds. “They’re always leaping in front of you.”

“It’s pretty scary, actually,” says Walter Shen. “They got these huge claws … like Spiderman up the walls.”

Squirrels are also invading campus dorms. “A squirrel just got in my room the other day,” Shen says. “They just got in and ate a whole bag of my Chips Ahoy cookies.”

They?re also getting into people?s computers. “They got into one of the residences, and they started typing on the keyboard,” Shen says. “They ran over the person’s laptop keyboard. They actually somehow renamed the person’s hard drive.”

“Sometimes, they get in and they leave feces and urine everywhere,” Shen says. “They eat up people’s furniture.”

Maybe Stanford needs to get on the squirrels? good side and should take a tip from U.C. Berkeley, where the pest control manager once used CPR to revive a fallen baby squirrel.

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