I just finished watching the fourth film I’ve appeared in and as usual, I was somewhat disappointed. It seems like the most important things I have to say are always left on the cutting room floor.
In the first film, which was supposed to be part of a reality series on a cable channel, I was totally left out, relegated to a nodding presence, occasionally seen in the background, so I was just as glad the show never aired.
The next film, unbeknownst to me, was a fundamentalist Christian diatribe, and again, my most important information was omitted. During my screen time, I ended up making a few pithy comments. What I couldn’t help but notice was how big my EARS looked and how much they STICK OUT. Since I’m stuck with this haircut, that didn’t make me too happy.
In the latest film, I’m sitting next to Whitley, nodding (again). Seeing myself portrayed that way made that old resentment well up in me again. The film was full of "talking heads," all commenting on whether or not there is life after death, while the only thing I commented on was what WHITLEY said. And again, I didn’t like the way my hair looked.
In my movie "cameo" (if you can call it that), most of our friends missed me, because I was again part of the scenery, but also because, that time, I wore a wig (which covered my ears).
We’ve seen some incredibly good theater here in Los Angeles lately. We had to search for it, and sometimes drive hours to get to it (and then spend a long time searching for a place to park), but once we finally took our seats, the acting and writing blew us away. I think actors are so courageous–not only because of what they do, but because they have to keep doing it even AFTER they see themselves on screen. From my own small experiences I know how much courage that takes!