Christmas Questions

One hundred first-grade students recently got to ask a group of physicians some persistent Christmas questions, such as “How do reindeer fly?” It turns out there were legitimate scientific answers to all (or at least most) of them.

Physicians David J. Dzielak, Andrew W. Grady and William H. Sorey answered the students’ questions. When asked how reindeer could fly, Grady was able to tell them, “We know the reindeer are very strong and that they have hollow bones.”

They were then asked the question, “How old is Santa Claus?” Sorey said, “We know he is at least 347 years old, but he may be as much as a couple of thousand of years old. The real question is not how old he is, but how does he live so long?” According to the pysicians, the secret to his longevity is that he gives instead of expecting to receive. “That’s the secret to a long life.” Scientists actually know that this is true.

Then the physicians revealed their Naughty or Nice machine. Dzielak explained that a special Santa Claus Emission Tomography (SCET) study revealed the presence of a unique lobe in Claus? brain. “Called the ‘Frontotemporoperiotaloccipital Lobe,’ it helps Santa detect which children have been bad or good. If a child has been nice, a special part of Santa’s brain will become active. If a child has been naughty, we have noticed that a different part of his brain lights up. As a result of this study, we think we’ve figured out how Santa knows who has been naughty or nice.”

The machine turned out to be a wireless silver headset that uses Bluetooth technology to connect to a shiny silver box with a green light signifying “nice” and a red light indicating “naughty.” The students tested the machine by placing the headset on their heads and watching which light was displayed and all of them registered as “nice.”

“One of the things we want to do is market this technology,” Dzielak told them. “Obviously, it would provide important information for moms, dads and teachers.”

Art credit: http://www.freeimages.co.uk

In this week’s rerun of one of our most popular shows, we take this opportunity to reprise a discussion Budd Hopkins and Whitley had about the abduction phenomenon.

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