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THE PURPOSE OF PINE GAP

Some of the following information was derived from an impeccable scientific source who, up to the time of his retirement occupied a key position among the Australian scientific elite. Due to his position he was fully informed about all joint government scientific programmes and was often asked to advise on technical and intelligence matters relating to them. He agreed to comment on some American activities in Australia providing he was not identified by subsequent use of the information. The man has an amazing background involving an association with some of the greatest scientific discoveries of the twentieth century, In his old age he feels that people should be made a little more aware of what is going on around them.
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Meetings of the London Vampire Group are held in the Ben Crouch Tavern in central London. Member Heidi Taylor says she was born with “natural fangs. I was always strange as a kid, I didn’t fit in and I don’t seem to like bright lights.”

Nathan, another member, says, “When I was younger I always felt there was something missing. I cut myself and put my mouth to it to stop it bleeding and thought ‘this feels great, this is what’s missing.'” When he drinks blood, which he describes as metallic-tasting, he says, “I can see everything better and clearer. It’s just an amazing feeling.”
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A scientific miracle has occurred: a mule has given birth to a male foal in Morocco. Mules, which are hybrids created by mating a horse and a donkey, are sterile and cannot reproduce. There are only two other cases where a mule gave birth?once in China in 1988 and the other in Morocco in 1984. Since 1527, when records began to be kept, there have only been a total of 60 reported cases of mules giving birth.
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The British are giving out a special version of the Nobel prize, called the IgNobel, for silly scientific research. Among the recent IgNobel winners are a scientist who researched belly button lint. Another award was given to scientists who showed how to measure the surface area of an elephant. An IgNobel was also awarded to researchers who translated dog barks into Japanese.

IgNobel organizer Mark Abrahams says, “These are all research projects that raise eyebrows. Some raise your eyebrows so much you can damage your face.” The IgNobels are given out by the science humor magazine Annals of Improbable Research, recognizing projects that “cannot, or should not, be reproduced.”
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