For many years, I have been curious about my story Pain. I have seen that it contained much unconscious knowledge of the close encounter experience. It was the last piece of creative writing I did before I became conscious of what had happened to me on December 26, 1985. In fact, the experience actually happened while I was in the middle of writing the story. On the surface, it is a story about a very difficult, painful relationship, but beneath that, it is about finding freedom from the most basic of all human fears, which is the fear of death.
Over these past thirty years, I feel that I have become able to see inside the story and shine some light on its secrets. What did my unconscious mind think of the close encounter experience? What did I know that I could not tell myself? I believe that I can now answer those questions, and this discussion contains that answer. The secrets of Pain are secret no more.
In a sense, my life has taken me through the rigors described in the story, and freed me. I think it ranks among the most useful of all the things I have written, in that it reveals what might be the deepest truth of the close encounter experience, and functions as a blueprint for understanding it in a very clear way.
This commentary has become possible for me to do only after many years of contact, of thinking about contact, and of exploring the sense and purpose of life. Right now, it is my definitive statement on the experience, what it means, why it is happening now, and how it is unfolding.