I have been having an extraordinary time engaging with my wife. What has happened is beyond anything I would ever have expected. Anne was a teacher, and she still is. Not only that, she loved Dreamland and always participated as much as she could. When she could not lean in and ask questions herself because her voice was too weak, she whispered them to me and I asked them.
Last week, when I was interviewing Laurence Gallian, Anne suddenly whispered a question. It was not relevant to what we were discussing. It seemed entirely out of left field. Without telling Laurence its source, I asked it. There was a pause, then he said that he was shocked that I had asked it, and proceeded to explain why it was so important to him. It completely transformed the program and revealed a level of this complex man that I had no way of knowing even existed.
Today, I was interviewing Dr. Elisa Medhus about the book written by her dead son Erik, "My Life After Death." Jamie Butler, who channels Erik, participated in the second half of the show. Once again, Anne showed up. It was simply impossible to ignore, a rich, spontaneous presence that participated in the show even more fully than she had when she was physically alive!
So we had three people involved in the show on this side of the illusory veil between the worlds, and two on the other! At one point, Erik described Anne, saying that she had a "pixie" haircut. She did have such a haircut–when she was in her twenties and early thirties. About five minutes after the interview ended, the daughter of a dear friend–among Anne’s very best friends–who died yesterday texted me a picture of Anne. It was taken in 1980, and there she was in the pixie haircut.
I could feel Anne’s bubbling, amused presence and also Erik, who seemed to be almost pacing around my little studio, full of excitement as well. It was just plain wonderful.
Of course, in the past, I would have questioned all of this. I still do, but not in the sense of asking whether or not it’s real. It is real. The question is, what’s going on? How does it work? What are they now that they no longer have bodies? Where are they? What do they know and feel? How are they changed?
When I was at William Henry’s Theurgy Conference in October, a participant came up to me and nervously said that she had a message for me from Anne. She was perplexed by it and uneasy about telling me what it was. She began by asking me if I have a special chair–a rocker, perhaps. I said no, I don’t have a rocker. She then said, "Anne told me to tell you that she can see you in the chair."
This woman cannot have known how vitally important that message was to me. This is because I sit in the same chair at night when I meditate. I understood immediately that Anne was saying that she could see me when I meditate. This explained a great deal more, too. It revealed why the visitors could find me, and so many others over the years. They can see us when we meditate. See us and interact with us.
Two weeks ago during my nightly meditation I asked Anne a critically important question: how can we penetrate the veil between the worlds? What is necessary?
The next morning, I found three emails in my inbox. Two were from Starfire Tor. The other was from a brilliant fellow who participates in our weekly subscriber chats and is very active in our community. All three emails were about penetrating that veil, and they are absolutely amazing. Filled with insight.
On that night, I had asked Anne a number of specific questions, among them, "Do you have the ability to live inside me?" I had hoped that she could somehow share my body. Maybe if that was possible, we could gain a more objective relationship, one that was not so accessible to invasion by my imagination.
Starfire’s second letter contained these exact lines: "While Anne has the ability to move through you, Anne knows that she will never knowingly literally reside within you. This is what I mean by keeping your soul separate from hers, because it will be tempting for you to want to hold her as close as possible. Don’t worry about that. From what I experienced of her, Anne isn’t going anywhere. Anne has the ability to make herself known to you, not only in a dream state, but in your waking world as well. She has the ability to wash over and through you, so that you can literally feel what she is feeling and know what she is thinking."
Now, you want to be floored–try asking a dead person a question one night and getting the precise answer from a friend the next morning, a friend who can have had no idea what had been asked. The second letter came because I had responded to the first, but I did not mention the questions I had just asked Anne.
Starfire had had a lucid dream of Anne in which "she was dressed in green pants and shirt, plus some type of long flowing green cardigan." Anne wore green when we made appearances in order to declare herself. She had a long involvement with the green man, and journaled about him often in her diary. Starfire added "she looked great–possibly younger than when I knew her. Her face was more rounded, her cheeks were fuller and her reddish hair was thick and in a cute bob style." In other words, she appeared in Starfire’s lucid dream very much as she appeared to Erik today, right down to that hairstyle.
There was another very specific message for me: "She said that she wants you to continue the project about how she is communicating from the spirit realm and what she has learned. She doesn’t want to be portrayed as an all knowing spirit guide to the beyond. She doesn’t want people trying to channel her, because that turns her off. She said that you already understood that her true journey and message is what she is learning after transitioning." And then, these critically important lines: "She wants to make sure that people understand that even in spirit, a spirit can be wrong about ideas and perceptions. She’s learning, and she has no problems about changing some ideas that she had when she was live. Some notions will remain the same, because she got it right from the start. She just wants the truth and nothing hokey or containing false beliefs about the afterlife. She fully understands that life is a journey, regardless of whether that journey is done in the physical or in spirit."
In other words, we must not assume that those on the other side are infallible or all knowing. This is an enormous, immeasurably complex universe, and we are all small fragments of a greater whole.
The third letter came from a man whose mind I have come to respect greatly. He is a solidly grounded intellectual who is, like most close encounter witnesses who are also well educated, willing to look in an open minded way at material that has been rejected by the mainstream.
I had asked Anne about the mechanics of crossing between the worlds. Still reeling from Starfire’s letter, I opened his and read this:
"Belief is not enough to drop the veil. It requires an interaction from beyond to intricately weave us into its reality. Like a stitch, it can create a thread of its reality into ours and vice versa." He made no specific reference to Anne, but those sentences stood out in his email, because they contain precious information. A very useful, practical answer to the questions I had asked her.
But how to really engage with it? I think that, from our side, disciplined meditative practice and intentional opening our minds and hearts to our dead will enable them to do this stitching. It is time for us to allow this other level of humanity to weave itself into our experience and perception.
Anne was the person who discovered that the visitors and the dead come to us in partnership. We used to discuss this deeply, and came to the conclusion that there is another level of life beyond this one, in which the living and the dead interact together in an objective way, weaving experience in a new and more energetic and joyous way. Our thought was that this is the next stage of evolution, and that "they" are already there. It’s time for us to join them, and by so doing join the greater chorus of conscious being in this universe.
But how do we open this door in ourselves? Obviously, it’s closed tight or most of us wouldn’t live in dread of death and die in terror. Anne did not die in fear at all. She was open to it, ready to go and eager to tread this new path. Her nervous system extended beyond visible limits. She had what I call ‘soul-sensation’ and she was very much at home with herself as a single being living across a spectrum of densities.
But why was this so?
Let me explain.
I have also just finished interviewing a wise woman called Colleen Mauro, who has written a book about gaining access to the soul called "Spiritual Telepathy." This materialistic world we live in anesthetizes us to the soul, but it is possible to overcome that numbing process and literally reconnect our nervous system to this part of us that the secular media, most of the intellectual culture and the scientific community assures us does not exist.
But it does exist. I can feel my soul as part of me, an extension of my body that is not physical. The exact energy needed to find this place comes from two words, which are among the very few that the visitors ever said to me in clear language: "have joy." Anne regarded them as of central importance, and I agree. But how can we, when we see so much of ourselves that we don’t like or want, and experience so much cruelty and injustice from those around us?
It’s very simple: replace that criticism with compassion. Accept yourself. Where there is now inner judgement, bring laughter. This is how Anne lived, and it is the right way. It feeds the soul. Remember the words from her beautiful diary entry, "the Love that Led Me Home": put those burdens down.
Of course you have done wrong and had wrong done to you. You have regrets and you are angry over injustices you have suffered. As are we all. Let the weight go by accepting the wrongs as part of life, part of those you have wronged, and part of those who have wronged you.
Week before last, I was in a very quiet place in Texas, just going to bed. I heard another of the few sounds the visitors have ever made in the clear, as it were. Three low utterances, very precise, spaced so exactly that they were unmistakable. It was then that the meditation I referred to earlier took place, and the next morning that the letters came.
What a wonderful time we live in, one of the great moments of question. I don’t know what the visitors are, what the dead are, what we are–any of it. I live in reverent and joyous question. But I do know this: I still have a relationship with Anne, and she is still the gentle, brilliantly effective teacher she always was. How this can be, or how the dead can still be a coherent part of reality, I do not know. But they can, and my wife, frankly, is good at it and getting better.
She was not sentimental, and she still isn’t. She was demanding and still is.
Early on, when I was just drowning in grief, I heard her say quite clearly, "quit your caterwauling and get on with it!"