I have been very hesitant to write about what has been happening in my life recently. I have left a partial record in the "Awakening" talks in our subscriber area, but have not described the depth, intimacy or the absolute sense of reality that accompany these experiences. The reason that I haven’t done it is that they involve contacts with Anne. Now, one might say that it’s important to make a record because it empowers others. That’s only partially true. I have a number of friends who have lost loved ones and are grieving. But none of them have had experiences anything close to what is going on between me and Anne, and stories like this have a tendency to deepen grief, in two ways. First, the person thinks ‘why doesn’t that happen to me?’ and feels sad. Second, they try the various techniques I and other offer, don’t get any results and decide that there is something wrong with them, or that their loved one has simply moved on.

The truth is that I don’t know why this happens to some people and not to others. I have been meditating daily for most of my adult life, and I am pretty sure that has something to do with it. But what about those who have done the same and don’t have any contact with anything except their own inner lives? I cannot explain it.

In my books, I’ve advanced various theories about why I’m like this, but they are just theories or, even less, speculations. I had a devastatingly difficult babyhood and early childhood, full of pain. I was somehow abused in an odd program that I think was part of MK-ULTRA, but no MK-ULTRA files involving children have ever been released, so I cannot be sure. I have many wonderful memories of contact with the visitors in my childhood, which I have memorialized in the Secret School. But how much of that is memory and how much imagination, and how do you separate the two? I don’t know.

But perhaps Anne’s theory that the shattering of expectations opens the mind and eyes to see things that we normally filter out is the best idea.

So, to those who are grieving and do not and apparently cannot experience what I experience, reflect that you also don’t have to live with the horrific memories that have colored my whole life and suffer, at the unconscious level, recollections of trauma that you cannot access directly, but that make you wary of others in ways that have fundamentally diminished your enjoyment of human company. I am not speaking here of the close encounter experience, but rather of very early childhood difficulties that started with my mother’s inability to make milk, and the fact that I was fed on formula that caused me great physical pain.

I was incredibly lucky that my wife fell so in love with me that she was willing to simply yell and scream until she broke through the barrier and reached the tender, hurt part inside and healed it with her embrace. I responded with absolute love and loyalty.

In the subscriber area, in Awakening 18, I describe a very powerful contact with Anne that happened starting on the 11th. In it, I found myself sitting on the bottom step of a stairway in a library. On a balcony at the top was Anne, looking at books. Now, I say "experience" rather than "dream" because I had been meditating at 5:30 AM when this happened. But I would not qualify it as a physical experience, but rather as an opening of my awareness into an objective and very real world that is not physical, but reflects the physical and is right here where we are.

I found myself holding in my hands a typescript of perhaps ten single-spaced pages. I recognized the typing, because for many years I have seen as if in a slit window in my left eye typed words racing past as I write. While I generally cannot read these words as they pass too fast, I think that they do enter my texts. The more important the texts are to the visitors, the more intense and fast the script. I have assumed that it has to do with my implant and I welcome it and use it as best I can.

I realized at once that the typescript I was holding was the whole of this material visible in full pages rather than in single lines. I looked up at Anne, and for a moment thought that I had gone back in time to when she looked like she did now, and I found myself hoping that we could relive physical life together, this time with knowledge of our futures. I thought that such an experience would be of incalculable value because of how enriching it would be. Subsequently, I’ve understood that we can do this if we wish, but if in the physical, not here.

I looked down at the script. It was the narrative of my life, from beginning to end. I understood the way a person’s creative output reflects their life experience, and how it was that it would be useful for me to see these words as I write. It wasn’t the visitors telling me what to write. It was this narrative, which I composed myself prior to birth, being delivered to me in order that my writing would not deviate from my life plan.

I saw my past described in astonishing detail. My future was there, too, but not so exactly described. I read it knowing that I could not keep it in my brain-memory, and that it is not in soul-memory, but more like an etching on the flesh of my soul. When I realized this, and also that if I was no longer here in the physical, we could go to a world where the living and the dead do not have the barrier of time between them, I wanted to just take off right now.

Anne said, "when you die, it must be for all the right reasons." As, indeed, was true when she left this physical world.

The next day, a great deal more happened, and I will continue this journal with a part two soon.

14 Comments

  1. Whenever I’m confronted by
    Whenever I’m confronted by someone who feels frustration that they’re missing out on a deeper or broader experience, despite the work they’ve done and what they see occurring in others around them, I try to remind them that each and every one of us has a unique life path, a unique set of experiences for each of us to follow. We couldn’t be the individuals that we are if, as individuals, we were to be able to take on the experience that others have, and I’ve found this to be doubly so with esoteric issues like contact with the dead: while some of us are supposed to have the experience, that same experience in another individual could very well link them too closely to the other side, and ruin that person’s immersion in this reality.

    It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year since Anne passed, but I think that’s because it feels, even to us that aren’t in direct contact with her, that she’s still actively participating in the site and co-hosting Dreamland. Oftentimes, when you relay something that she’s said on-air, Whit, it feels like she had said it herself…

  2. Whenever I’m confronted by
    Whenever I’m confronted by someone who feels frustration that they’re missing out on a deeper or broader experience, despite the work they’ve done and what they see occurring in others around them, I try to remind them that each and every one of us has a unique life path, a unique set of experiences for each of us to follow. We couldn’t be the individuals that we are if, as individuals, we were to be able to take on the experience that others have, and I’ve found this to be doubly so with esoteric issues like contact with the dead: while some of us are supposed to have the experience, that same experience in another individual could very well link them too closely to the other side, and ruin that person’s immersion in this reality.

    It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year since Anne passed, but I think that’s because it feels, even to us that aren’t in direct contact with her, that she’s still actively participating in the site and co-hosting Dreamland. Oftentimes, when you relay something that she’s said on-air, Whit, it feels like she had said it herself…

  3. Matt, you are right. I’ve had
    Matt, you are right. I’ve had many people tell me that they wish they could do what I do, and besides each person following their own path, the truth is that many people simply are not ready for these experiences. While I have had them my whole life, there have been periods when life required that I put up The Wall in order to be a regular day-to-day human being and function within the world of wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, and employee. In addition, I have found that many express the desire to connect and experience, yet they also express a fear in doing so, especially in terms of communicating with the dead, but as Whitley stated, “… Anne’s theory that the shattering of expectations opens the mind and eyes to see things that we normally filter out is the best idea.” Even the “shattering of expectations” varies from person to person. Some people are chirpy optimists and keep on keeping on, while those on the other end of the spectrum spiral into destructive pessimism and depression. The key is having one’s expectations shattered and finding that middle ground of balance, which also means having an open mind.

    The final shattered expectation is that of Time and realizing that it is not real, but an illusion that keeps all the other illusions going. On an intellectual level, I get that it is not real, but having a full understanding of it, irony of ironies, is for the future. 🙂

  4. Matt, you are right. I’ve had
    Matt, you are right. I’ve had many people tell me that they wish they could do what I do, and besides each person following their own path, the truth is that many people simply are not ready for these experiences. While I have had them my whole life, there have been periods when life required that I put up The Wall in order to be a regular day-to-day human being and function within the world of wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, and employee. In addition, I have found that many express the desire to connect and experience, yet they also express a fear in doing so, especially in terms of communicating with the dead, but as Whitley stated, “… Anne’s theory that the shattering of expectations opens the mind and eyes to see things that we normally filter out is the best idea.” Even the “shattering of expectations” varies from person to person. Some people are chirpy optimists and keep on keeping on, while those on the other end of the spectrum spiral into destructive pessimism and depression. The key is having one’s expectations shattered and finding that middle ground of balance, which also means having an open mind.

    The final shattered expectation is that of Time and realizing that it is not real, but an illusion that keeps all the other illusions going. On an intellectual level, I get that it is not real, but having a full understanding of it, irony of ironies, is for the future. 🙂

  5. Hi Matt,
    I agree completely.

    Hi Matt,
    I agree completely. I had an encounter with my grandmother six years after she past. She was in the company of some familiar entity… who didn’t identify themselves. But i’m sure it was the visitor i seem to normally deal with. My granny and i never spoke on unusual subjects ever. She told me i was on the right path. I had to ask “what path ?. To which she had no reply. So i had assumed this was some kind of put on, or test. The conversation ended completely, when i looked in the corner of the room where this other entity was and i said “Put her back where you found her” ! Then when my Mum passed i was expecting a major encounter because i told her everything what was going on. She was even witness to the invisible person that ran off down our hall way, after i discovered him standing next to me in the study. As he ran off he glanced off Mum and thumped a wall. She said it was like a small child 7-8 years old. I never got an after life encounter with her. I was so upset. Ripped off. But i get it now some years latter. Not part of the plan. Darn it.

  6. Hi Matt,
    I agree completely.

    Hi Matt,
    I agree completely. I had an encounter with my grandmother six years after she past. She was in the company of some familiar entity… who didn’t identify themselves. But i’m sure it was the visitor i seem to normally deal with. My granny and i never spoke on unusual subjects ever. She told me i was on the right path. I had to ask “what path ?. To which she had no reply. So i had assumed this was some kind of put on, or test. The conversation ended completely, when i looked in the corner of the room where this other entity was and i said “Put her back where you found her” ! Then when my Mum passed i was expecting a major encounter because i told her everything what was going on. She was even witness to the invisible person that ran off down our hall way, after i discovered him standing next to me in the study. As he ran off he glanced off Mum and thumped a wall. She said it was like a small child 7-8 years old. I never got an after life encounter with her. I was so upset. Ripped off. But i get it now some years latter. Not part of the plan. Darn it.

  7. Thank you for sharing this
    Thank you for sharing this Whitley. I do so wish that these experiences could be shared more openly in our current culture. It would be such a wonderful teaching tool.

    I have had regular contact with my Dad since his passing. I have also had contact with others from the ‘other side’ – all good souls, who are aware of the bridge between realms (the bridge being through our hearts/souls).

    My sister-in-law passed in mid July, but I have had zero contact. My gut tells me not to attempt contact. We got on very well, and I did feel close, but…..I sense that she is on her own path, with a whole other soul-group. No need to pester her 🙂 Though I have sent good thoughts and prayers for her safe passage.

    I am thankful for this forum, where we can openly discuss these anomalous topics.

  8. Thank you for sharing this
    Thank you for sharing this Whitley. I do so wish that these experiences could be shared more openly in our current culture. It would be such a wonderful teaching tool.

    I have had regular contact with my Dad since his passing. I have also had contact with others from the ‘other side’ – all good souls, who are aware of the bridge between realms (the bridge being through our hearts/souls).

    My sister-in-law passed in mid July, but I have had zero contact. My gut tells me not to attempt contact. We got on very well, and I did feel close, but…..I sense that she is on her own path, with a whole other soul-group. No need to pester her 🙂 Though I have sent good thoughts and prayers for her safe passage.

    I am thankful for this forum, where we can openly discuss these anomalous topics.

  9. I hear tell that nothing is
    I hear tell that nothing is real and all is permitted, or something like that. Well, I’m here to tell you that time is as real as anything in the universe. If it weren’t, I would like to perceive playing soccer like I was 18 again.

    What isn’t so trustworthy is our perception of time. Time and space are relative. Order in space time is subjective. Simultaneity is perceived as a happenstance of one’s frame of reference. As yet, there is no discernible reason that we can’t go both ways in time. Maybe entropy determines directionality, but then what is entropy?

    Some even say that there is “something” beyond space time. I don’t understand what the hell they’re talking about. All I know is that if I show some flatlanders the third dimension, it would blow their minds. If there is existence “out there”, then we might be able to jump around space time like a walk in park.

    So there you have it. I set out to tell you that time is not an illusion, unsuccessfully. At most, I can only say that words matter. Saying something is an illusion implies that it has no existence outside of my mind, or that the perception is entirely a product of my mind. I am not there. At this time, all I can concede is that perception of time may change dramatically with changes in technology, consciousness, whatever that is, mind altering drugs, or accidental slips into rabbit holes.

  10. I hear tell that nothing is
    I hear tell that nothing is real and all is permitted, or something like that. Well, I’m here to tell you that time is as real as anything in the universe. If it weren’t, I would like to perceive playing soccer like I was 18 again.

    What isn’t so trustworthy is our perception of time. Time and space are relative. Order in space time is subjective. Simultaneity is perceived as a happenstance of one’s frame of reference. As yet, there is no discernible reason that we can’t go both ways in time. Maybe entropy determines directionality, but then what is entropy?

    Some even say that there is “something” beyond space time. I don’t understand what the hell they’re talking about. All I know is that if I show some flatlanders the third dimension, it would blow their minds. If there is existence “out there”, then we might be able to jump around space time like a walk in park.

    So there you have it. I set out to tell you that time is not an illusion, unsuccessfully. At most, I can only say that words matter. Saying something is an illusion implies that it has no existence outside of my mind, or that the perception is entirely a product of my mind. I am not there. At this time, all I can concede is that perception of time may change dramatically with changes in technology, consciousness, whatever that is, mind altering drugs, or accidental slips into rabbit holes.

  11. I found this journal and the
    I found this journal and the accompanying Awakenings fascinating, although the latter was upsetting in parts (when you spoke about the possible implications of your sitting at the bottom of those stairs – which I hope you are wrong about). To hear about your writing process, and more about your ongoing contact with Anne is privileged info and it is kind of you to share it.

    I had been thinking about your MK ULTRA-like experiences whilst watching a wonderful new series recently called Stranger Things, and wondered if you had seen that?

  12. I found this journal and the
    I found this journal and the accompanying Awakenings fascinating, although the latter was upsetting in parts (when you spoke about the possible implications of your sitting at the bottom of those stairs – which I hope you are wrong about). To hear about your writing process, and more about your ongoing contact with Anne is privileged info and it is kind of you to share it.

    I had been thinking about your MK ULTRA-like experiences whilst watching a wonderful new series recently called Stranger Things, and wondered if you had seen that?

  13. I am so looking forward to
    I am so looking forward to part two and maybe more. Thank you for sharing this.

  14. I am so looking forward to
    I am so looking forward to part two and maybe more. Thank you for sharing this.

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