Federal investigators have arrested investor Andrew Carlssin, who claims to be a time traveler from the year 2256, and says this is why he’s had such incredible success in the stock market. The Security and Exchange Commission says, “We don’t believe this guy’s story?he’s either a lunatic or a pathological liar. But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks’ time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can’t be pure luck. The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He’s going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources.”
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