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Residents of Lardal, Norway observed a UFO near power lines and reported it to local police. After an investigation of the area, authorities have dismissed the sighting as an exploding housecat.

The cat allegedly exploded after climbing an electrical pylon and stepping on a live electrical line. One witness said, “a huge fireball appeared above the power lines, then floated slowly to the ground.” Local police found the charred body of a cat in the area where residents said that the UFO descended.

A Norwegian government spokesman declared during a press conference called to explain the situation to media in Oslo, that no UFO crash retrieval effort is planned at this time. Norwegian Air Force officials declined to comment.
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Grand Marshal Richard Skaggs announced that New York City’s famed April 1st Parade would be held despite concerns that the Republican Guard’s Medina Division elephant corps would wreck city streets.

Mr. Skaggs assured wary city officials that the “two thousand elephants will not damage the streets, because they have been specially bred with “lite” legs and small feet that do not harm pavements.”
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George Walker Bush, the 43rd President of the United States has announced his conversion to Islam and taken the Islamic name Tariq Ali. ?I?ve gotten to know many members of the Islamic community recently,? Bush explained, ?and I just thought I?d give it a try. We need to be more ecumenical in our approach.?

Mr. Bush has also stated that his wife and daughters have entered ?full purdah.? Press inquiries revealed that the Bush sisters have voluntarily confined themselves to the Sigma Alpha Epsilon Seraglio in Austin. Their Secret Service protection has been withdrawn ?because it will no longer be necessary. The SAEs will keep the girls under close observation at all times,? according to security personnel.
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Peter Larson of the Black Hills Institute of GeologicalResearch in Hill City, South Dakota, whose group first found ?Sue,? the most complete Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton yet discovered, has announced that she could not have survived into old age without “complex social behaviour such as spousal care.”

?Sue? had suffered fractures to the right and left rib cages due to traumatic body blows. She had jaw infections, and healed arm and leg infections. Bony growths on her vertebra revealed that she also had back trouble.
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