Just days after achieving the highest energy particlecollision in history, the Large Hadron Collider hasdisappeared from the face of the earth. Swiss officials atfirst explored the idea that the collider might have beenstolen. But this seems improbable, due to the immense sizeof the device, which consists of a seventeen mile longcircle of magnets that are used to accelerate particles. Ithas been speculated that tiny black holes generated insidethe collider might devour the entire earth, not just thecollider itself.

Theorists now believe that it may have been plunged into analternative universe, or even been destroyed by scientistsfrom our own future, who were–or will be–threatened byprocesses it has, may or will generate, or might generate,that are presently unknown.

There is nothing left at the location at present except thefront half of an elderly Citroen that belonged to one of theaccelerator specialists.

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