What if you could use your iphone to develop the Superman-like skill of having X-ray vision? Well, now you can: A microchip enables a phone to see through walls, wood and plastics and–although the researchers deny this–through clothing as well, meaning you can check out someone’s body before you bed them.
Right now, it only works at close range, but eventually you may be able to check out someone across a crowded room–long before you approach them. The inventor, identified only as "Kenneth O.," emphasizes its medical–not dating–usefulness, and is quoted in by Rob Waugh in the April 19th edition of the Daily Mail as saying, "We’ve created approaches that open a previously untapped portion of the electromagnetic spectrum for consumer use and life-saving medical applications."
We don’t know what the TSA will do, but at our Dreamland Festival, we promise not to x-ray you in any way–we just want to hear what you have to SAY, because you’re important to us. Come join a group of wonderful people who speak your language and think like you do, but hurry: tickets are selling out fast!