Pain was written between mid-December 1985 and mid-January 1986. It is the last thing I wrote before becoming conscious of the close encounter experience I had on December 26, 1985. While I was writing it, uneasy and confused memories of that experience were flowing through my mind, and I was beginning the process of research that would eventually lead to recollection of the close encounter and the writing of Communion.
The story contains a great deal of unconscious material about the experience. In fact, my entire unconscious understanding of close encounter and its connection to the dangerous sacred is contained in the story.
I have made it available only briefly since its publication in my now out-of-print book of short stories, Evenings with Demons. After Communion was published, Pain was used by sleazy people to try to claim that I was somehow involved in sado-masochistic sex. I found this so offensive that I basically shelved the story for 25 years. It is not a sex story. It is about the dangerous sacred.
It is among the most important things I have ever written about the visitors, because it contains so much truth coming straight out of my unconscious recollections of what happened to me.
To read my commentary on Pain, click here.