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White House Announces Cheney to be First Human Cloned

Calling it?s previous position against human cloning ?a mistake,? the Bush Administration has announced that Vice-President Dick Cheny is to be the first human being to be cloned. The Vice-President is said to be ?excited? by the prospect of being duplicated. It is anticipated that the clone will grow to maturity in about two years, as it will be generated exclusively from tertiary follicle cells centrifuged with the patented cloning mixture cloneaid.

George W. Bush, wiping perspiration from his brow as he spoke, said, ?I am just elated about this new technology. It?s going to be a tremendous boon to this White House and a blessing for the Cheney family.?

When asked if ordinary Americans would be able to avail themselves of the technology, the President said, ?The average American doesn?t need to be cloned. How would that benefit the country?? White House religious advisor, the Rev. Frederick "Fred" Rael, explained that human cloning will be restricted to ?appropriate persons.?

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