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Tests Reveal McCain is Black and Barack Admits, 'I'm White.'

After famed race expert Dr.Max Mosley revealed that Republican presidential candidateJohn McCain is actually black, Democratic contender BarackObama said, "Dr. Mosley raided my hairpiece for DNA twoweeks ago, so I?mjust going to go ahead and admit that I?m white.? Mr. Obamasaid that he was tired of appearing in blackface, explainingthat ?it itches.? McCain, on the other hand, wears a mask,which, when he becomes hot, loosens around the edges, givinghim the familiar ?puffy? appearance of a man withmysteriously expanded saliva glands.

The Obama campaign appeared to take their candidate?stransformation in stride, but McCain supporters werereported to be frantically telephoning country clubs acrossthe nation where their candidate was scheduled to speak, todetermine whether or not he would now need to enter throughthe staff area.

Senator McCain explained, ?I got started with the whitefaceduring the segregation era, because the blacks-only waterfountains were too low.? Obama said, ?It is going to be alittle hard to explain myself now, I suppose, but hey, itcan?t be worse than whatever Hillary does to herself next.?He also revealed that his real name is Charlie Watson, andthat he?s from Columbus, Ohio. ?Who in the world would endup with a name like ?Barack Obama,? anyway? I mean, it wasjust a joke, okay.?

TheEx-NegroesAssociation offered Mr. Watson an honorary membership.

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