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Parakeet Swallows Tiny UFO

Famed alien implant expert Dr. Roger Leir has announced thatan apparent ?nanoufo? that flew into his home has gone downthe throat of his daughter?s parakeet and not come out. ?Wegot the entire incident on videotape,? Dr. Leir told NewYork Times? UFO editor Leslie Keane. The authenticity of thetape was confirmed by famed saucer expert and MacArthurFoundation Genius Award winner Randi Zwingle. Dr. Zwinglesaid, ?the bird no longer cheeps like a parakeet, but rathermakes sounds like something very small backfiring, and emitsa thin stream of purple smoke from its nostrils.? Dr.Zwingle added, ?the UFO was too small to actually be visibleon the tape, but that?s irrelevant.?

Authorities removed the Leir family from their home, out ofconcern that the parakeet could explode. They are expectedto receive a FEMA trailer in 2008 or 2009. ?We?ll have anETA on that,? FEMA Sub Co-Director of Redirected TemporaryShelter Redirection Joe Ratzinger told the Times? Ms. Keane.

In an earlier UFO-related consumption event in the Leirhousehold, Dr. Leir?s daughter drank a collection of alienimplants that had been stored in the back of therefrigerator, mistaking them for a pitcher of lemonade.

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