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NIH to Enforce Bat Soup Consumption

Soup made from the common bat has been found to possiblydiminish the effects of bird flu, andthe White House has announced that the National Institutesof Health will be enforcing twice-weekly consumption of batsoup by all Americans. NIH Enforcement Director GeneralEmilio M. Vargas says that bats must be steeped for aminimum of 30 minutes, and the soup eaten in the morningwhen its effect is most pronounced. He warns that Americanswill be ?checked to be sure this is being done.?

McDonald?s has taken the lead among fast food chains, andplans to offer a new ?McBat Cuppa? product as part of itsbreakfast menu. Other chains are expected to follow withtheir own products in a few days. Enforcement is to begin onMonday. Noncompliance will be punished by a mandatory yearin federal prison, no matter the age of the violator.

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