Criminal Chimp

A criminal chimpanzee is leading the London police on a wild chase, after breaking into apartments and stealing cell phones and other valuable equipment. The police received reports of two burglaries at separate addresses in east London. A Scotland Yard spokesman says, “Only small items of personal property, a mobile phone and parts of a stereo system, were stolen. The caller of the second burglary confirmed to police he had seen an ape disappearing from the premises.”

Mustapha Riat was an eyewitness. He woke up in his apartment to find a large hairy figure with five-foot-long arms towering above him. “I saw this hairy black chimpanzee coming through,” he says. “It was broad and muscular. I was frightened of being bitten.”

“The DVD player was moved and a watch missing,” says Gina Davidson, one of the https://www.unknowncountry.com/store/?fid=22victims. “Police dusted my flat for fingerprints – but how will that help catch a chimp?”

Tony Morgan thinks he may have been a victim of the chimp crime spree. “When I got up on Sunday all the stuff was on the floor in the middle of the room, so I know someone got in to nick something but whether it was chimpanzee I don’t know,” he says. “The bloke down the road said he had been robbed by a chimpanzee. I just thought it was a wind-up, but when I looked at the window and the way it was open I began to think it was true. When the woman came down to take finger prints she couldn’t get prints – they were all smudges. It’s weird. I don’t know whether to believe it or not.”

A police spokesman says, “We have our greatest minds on this one.”

See news story “Oversexed Beer Drinkers–And They Aren’t Even Human”,click here.

If you want to find out who will be sneaking into your apartment next, read ?Monsters? by John Michael Greer,click here.

NOTE: This news story, previously published on our old site, will have any links removed.