News Stories

Crawford Chicken Wrangler Quits

The head chicken wrangler on President Bush?s Crawford, Texas ranch has resigned after only three years in office. ?I am sick and tired of trying to convince hell-raising foreign dignitaries that this is not THAT kind of a chicken ranch,?said wrangler Kenneth Starr. ?I was better off practicing law,? he continued, referring to his previous career as a prosecutor. Mr. Starr?s longtime friend and associate, former president Bill Clinton, said ?I could have told them boththat a presidential chicken ranch would be a mistake. I mean, you cannot get these foreign boys to slow down, or to understand a damn word you say.?

Prime Minister Zhu Rongji of the State Council of China, on a recent visit to Crawford, was reportedly outraged that his bedroom did not have a mirrored ceiling. ?He tossed a full bowl of fried rice Condaleeza in my face when it turned out that all I had to show him were our beautiful genetically engineered Rhode Island Reds,? Mr. Starr complained. ?Think how much moo-shu chicken you could get out of one of these babies. But did he care? He did not care.?

If you love us, wear our tee shirt!

NOTE: This news story, previously published on our old site, will have any links removed.


Subscribe to Unknowncountry sign up now