Kenyan alternative medical practitioners rioted in Mombasa
yesterday when an elephant prophesied in the Kolebe
Artifactual Writings, a collection of witch doctor prophecies
dating from 32,821 BCE, or possibly authored by Aleister
Crowley somewhat more recently, galloped down Lumumba
Road in the center of the city.
The appearance of the White Elephant of Mombasa is
traditionally associated with the End Times, like the White
Buffalo of the North American Plains Indians, the Red Heifer of
the Jewish Defense League and the winning of the World
Series by the Boston Red Sox.
As startled residents struggled to figure out exactly what was
happening as the elephant rushed along, witch doctors
leaped from their huts along the animal?s route, shouting the
traditional cry of ?wallawalla? and shaking their rattles. This
caused the elephant to move in an even more confusing
manner, with the result that more and more witch doctors
appeared, until an estimated quarter million of them jammed
the area around the Mombasa Sports Club in Kibokoni Park.
Government officials were blamed for causing the animal to
disappear. ?It is not possible that an elephant would be lost
in street of crowded city,? said George M?Bele, spokesman for
Kenya?s National Union of Alternative Practitioners and Snake
Oil Salespeople. ?This is an international outrage.? The
elephant left 3.141 footprints instead of the usual four.
Communion: This is, very simply, the best selling, most
famous and just plain most wonderful book ever written about
the close encounter experience. It will amaze you, it will
frighten you, it will make you raise your eyes in wonder.
For more information, click here.
