Whitley's Journal

Living with the Big C

Back on May 1, Anne had surgery to remove what was thought to be a benign tumor called a meningioma from the area in her brain where her bleed had taken place in 2004. We were dismayed to be given a far more serious diagnosis once the doctors could actually do studies of the tumor. She has a very, very dangerous cancer called a glioblastoma multiforme and worse, another very rare but dangerous tumor called a gliosarcoma. This second tumor could be a consequence of getting radiation from CT-scans in 2004, or it could be associated with an earlier incident that took place in 1992 or 1993 in our cabin. I think it might also have something to do with Fukushima. Maybe they both do, but so far no statistics have emerged that would suggest this. My problem with that is, would we be told if Fukushima radiation was causing cancer here?

Here is what happened at the cabin: One night, I saw a reddish glow coming from the living room. I ran to the balcony that overlooked it and observed a reddish-orange orb hanging just above the couch. Our Burmese cat Sadie was on the back of the couch and appeared to be moving toward it. By that time, I had a camera ready, but as I ran to the bedroom to grab it, there was a flash of light and when I got back, the orb was gone.

Sadie was curled up in a ball on the couch. When I roused her, she seemed all right, so I went to bed. But the next morning, she came struggling down the hallway yowling. I could see growths in both of her eyes. When we took her to the vet, we found that she had suddenly gotten cancer. She died within a couple of weeks. Two years later the other cat, which had been asleep in our bed upstairs, also died of cancer.

Did Anne and I receive radiation doses then, and is that why she has a gliosarcoma? I was physically closer to the event than Anne was, so if I come down with a radiation-associated tumor also, then we'll know, but there is presently no way to tell. What we do know is that we are facing the most serious crisis of our lives. My wife of 42 years, 66 years old and previously in excellent health, may not survive this.

We are taking a four-pronged approach to the illness. First, we're going with the standard radiation-chemotherapy protocol. This will not cure the cancer, but if it works well, it could give Anne some good years. We have also set up a program of supplements and gone on a ketogenic diet. This last is a very rigorous version of the Atkins diet that eliminates absolutely all sugars and carbs. The reason for the diet is that tumors can only feed on glucose, and this drops your glucose levels to rock bottom, causing most of your normal cells to feed on what are called ketones instead, and leaving the cancer cells to starve.

We are also taking up Qi Gong with a master associated with the UCLA Medical Center who is himself a cancer survivor of many years standing. The energetic approach offered by Qi Gong has been beneficial to many cancer patients.

Unfortunately, Anne's tumor is not accessible to any of the promising therapies now in advanced clinical trials, so we don't have the option to go on a clinical trial. A second round of chemotherapy with a drug called Avastin will be available to us when and if the cancer starts to grow again. Our oncologist is one of the inventors of this treatment, so we can be assure of the best possible management should it become necessary.

However, the truth that we are both facing together is that there is a much greater probability of death here than we had ever expected. As all of you know, I have been on a profound spiritual journey. I know that there is not only an afterlife, but that it is much richer and more varied than this one, where we are inserted into these very dense bodies that prevent us from seeing outside of the time stream. We come into this state in order to be able to act entirely out of our essences, without the enormous knowledge that attaches to 'normal' life, which is life outside of the body and outside of time. Earth, like many other such worlds, is a place of self-testing and self-discovery.

Anne has had very few instances of contact with the outside world, but just enough to make her pretty sure that there is an afterlife, but that our religions and belief systems offer very little real knowledge of it. I'm in a different position. I explored this other reality for years. I know for certain that it is there--that, in fact, physical life is embedded in it, a very small part of a much larger spectrum of consciousness.

Still, facing the next phase is hard. It's scary. Anne is a brave human being, and has nothing to take with her from this life of which she need be in the least ashamed. When she had her NDE in 2004, she saw people sitting and waiting, clutching bundles of things that they could not let go from this life. Anne will step off free of such bundles, and will soar.

If it happens this way, I am going to have a huge personal struggle. We are deeply, profoundly bonded. It is a truly symbiotic marriage. If I must slog on alone in this unforgiving density, I really cannot think how I will bear it.

If I must, though, I will. I am quite certain that we will continue on together in some way. But right now, our focus is on the present and on accomplishing the impossible. We seek to learn to live with this eerie visitor who has insinuated itself into our lives. We know that he will not leave the house of her body, but perhaps we can lull him to sleep there, we hope for a long time.

Do remember us in your prayers.


Thoughts and Prayers are with you both.

My journey toward being an awoken individual started to gather momentum when I read Communion those many years ago. Since then I have been a avid compatriot and subscriber to your endeavors. I can only offer my inner strength and gratitude for the kindness you and Anne have demonstrated repeatedly. I would like to say that we will continue to journey together, even though it may be only in spirit. You have a friend here and know that you are loved.

I am beyond devastated to read this. I think I speak for all of us who care so much about the both of you that I feel so helpless, and wish there was more I could do than offer healing prayers. You have both touched my life in so many ways, and I know how deep your love is for each other. Miracles do happen, in fact just this morning I read a beautiful piece from a friend whose husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer with only weeks to live, and after two weeks of intense prayer and meditation it mysteriously vanished. I do believe in miracles, and I know you do too. You are in my heart and prayers with my every breath.

Dear Whitley, you and Anne are in my prayers. Please keep an open mind because miracles do happen. I would like to recommend a book called "Dying To Be Me" by Anita Moorjani . It tells about her journey from cancer, to near death, to true healing. Blessings to you and Anne.

I am a new subscriber, though a follower and reader of many of your books for years, Whitley and they have had significant impact on my life and development. I thank you and your sweet companion for them, for it's obvious you're a team. I can only imagine how Anne and you are feeling as you face this experience, as we all will in some way, at some time. So wonderful that you have so much experience meeting the challenges and anxieties of the unknown and infinite together. As you labor together in this next birthing, I pray you'll both gain reassurance that you have an eternal connection because I believe if anyone does, you and Anne do. I will also include your son in my prayers, as this must be difficult for him as well. Keep us posted, brother Whitley. We care for your family deeply and stream our love to you for comfort and strength. Blessings.

Our thoughts and prayers are with both your and Anne. As stated above, miracles do happen. My prayers will be to give you both strength to endure whatever comes. I'm sure I speak for all your subscribers (and visitors to the site) that we are here for you in whatever way we can be.

Whitley, of course I will keep you and Anne in my prayers. I'd like to make a suggestion that I hope you'll consider in the meantime. I don't know if you know of Jerry Wills. He's a human extraterrestrial who's been on Earth since he was a baby. He has an amazing ability to heal people and he's like a modern day Indiana Jones. He and his wife have travelled all over the world exploring ancient sites. You could go to to his website, http://www.xpeditions.tv/. The contact page has a few ways of contacting him. I do hope you'll consider contacting him. I can't picture you without Anne (in this physical world, that is).

Reading this brought me to tears. I'm so very sorry for both of you, and will certainly remember you both in my prayers.

Reading this brought me to tears. I'm so very sorry for both of you, and will certainly remember you both in my prayers.

This is horrible news. I wish I had words to provide some comfort. I will pray earnestly for you and Anne.

When I heard the news, I was absolutely heartbroken. I cannot imagine life without the two of you. It's been nearly thirty years, since the very beginning. Even though I have never met you in the flesh, I have been blessed to be given entry into your most deepest spiritual lives and offered the greatest gift one can imagine: true insight into the secret of being. Instead of hiding away in ignorance or fear, I have opted to open my heart out to you while in meditation and send healing energy. Whatever happens, rest assured your journey will be part of mine.

She is never alone...

I most certainly will.

Dear Anne and Whitley,

So sad to hear your recent news. Will be praying for Anne to recover completely as I have been doing and now will be praying for her miracle recovery.

Love and Hugs to you both,
NBF

Whitley, you have oceans of support out here. We will do for you whatever we can.

Whitley and Anne ~
I have followed both of your journeys to the gracious extent to which you have chosen to share, for 25 years. Having lost a soul mate of 23 years in 2007 out of this dense reality, as you put it Whitley, I empathize with your feelings of trepidation regarding apparent separation. It is possible that should a separation due to death occur, that it may be due to some sort of necessity that Anne "runs on up ahead" for a while. Since reading especially Communion and Transformation (many years ago) I have always felt that part of Anne was involved in a comprehensive manner in your experience, beyond what can be perceived consciously.
I am glad to hear you are participating in Qi Gong. I engaged in Qi Gong during a period in which my mother was not expected to live. Since she was unable I did it for her, and believe it and prayers helped her to survive.
Both of you are very loved, and held and nurtured, through all of this ~ both now and in the future.
Love,
KA

Whitley and Anne ~
I have followed both of your journeys to the gracious extent to which you have chosen to share, for 25 years. Having lost a soul mate of 23 years in 2007 out of this dense reality, as you put it Whitley, I empathize with your feelings of trepidation regarding apparent separation. It is possible that should a separation due to death occur, that it may be due to some sort of necessity that Anne "runs on up ahead" for a while. Since reading especially Communion and Transformation (many years ago) I have always felt that part of Anne was involved in a comprehensive manner in your experience, beyond what can be perceived consciously.
I am glad to hear you are participating in Qi Gong. I engaged in Qi Gong during a period in which my mother was not expected to live. Since she was unable I did it for her, and believe it and prayers helped her to survive.
Both of you are very loved, and held and nurtured, through all of this ~ both now and in the future.
Love,
KA

You can count on my prayers, not only for Anne's full recovery but also for you, Whitley, as you face the possibility of such a loss.

My thoughts and prayers are with
you both. Love and blessings.

Gail (Mama Shine)

This is serious news indeed, and I of course wish you and Anne the best and all the strength you need to face all challenges ahead, just as I'm sure you're getting from many friends and supporters.

My main reason for posting, though, has to do with part of Transformation, which I just started listening to recently. It's interesting, in fact, that you put it up on the website right around this trying time. Whether it relates or not I can't say for sure, but it's a feeling I have so I thought I'd share.

It's about the part where the blue-eyed being came to your bedside and said something like, "I want to talk to you about your death." And with that came the warning that if you eat sweets you'll die. And you were having none of it, ate them anyway, and without apparent ill effect! Then much later, the remarkable thing happened that Anne (who wasn't told this detail about your encounter) dreamed vividly that you ate a chocolate bar and keeled over dead!

It all seems like some kind of puzzle. The "prophecy" came true but only in a dream, and it was Anne's dream and not yours! Why the drama of warning you about a dream? Or did you perhaps shift timelines to one where an echo of another reality showed up as your beloved's dream rather than a tragically early death, one in which Anne would have to carry on without you?

Now you are facing doctors and diagnoses and statistics, but the details of the reality you are yet to live consciously are an unknown, and I believe are unknowable with certainty. Not even the blue-eyed being knew, although she apparently knew something. If she knew it was uncertain, why tell you at all, and with a dry matter-of-fact-ness? Maybe there was a lesson in there that has bearing on the present. I may be totally off base, but like I said I feel there may be something to this synchronicity.

Prayers and thoughts are with you both. Anne is such a treasure to the entire community.

This is indeed sad news. And though I know you both see the larger perspective of life this is the time for the smaller perspective. I hope of all my heart that Anne will recover and you will continue on this lifes journey together. As mentioned in some of the comments above miracles can and do happen. People in advanced stages of cancer have healed before and I see no reason that it can not happen with Anne. So let's all pray for Annes recovery.

Thank you Whitley and Anne, for inviting us (once again) into the journey. You are not alone. We have walked with you, learned and grown to care very deeply about/for both of you. We carry you in our minds and hearts with love, deep respect, and care. The gift of sharing your lives with us is beyond words. It is a blessing to all.

This part of the journey is very hard. We all know what it means to be afraid. Some have learned to question and face our fears..from the way others (including both of you) have done so. We have faced our inability to "control" all aspects of our lives. We live with and within " unknowning." We have also learned we are One.

Although this path feels so terribly alone when we walk it, there comes the time we look back and see that was not the case. It is inside our heads and emotions that aloneness seems to dwell. But in our hearts... and Spirit... we exist together.

It is we who take this opportunity to surround you without smothering and carry you without asking "How long? and Where to?" We are One ... yet we are many. There is depth and stength here. May you and Anne know that breadth, depth, and strength which is in you and beyond you. May you know you that we are here with you. May you find peace, joy, and all you need - drawn from Oneness.

I'm so sad to hear this news. Anne has proven herself to be the strongest of people. I hope and pray that strength continues for as long as she chooses.

Hang in there Anne and Whitley. You are both sooo loved.

http://www.healingcancernaturally.com/edgar-cayce-health-healing.html

According to Cayce, the attitude that truly heals is the "Christ Consciousness...the only source of healing for a physical or mental body. " As the source once put it: "There are in truth, no incurable conditions...that which exists is and was produced from a first cause, and may be met or counteracted, or changed." In another reading Cayce said that "all strength, all healing of every nature is the changing of the vibrations from within, the attuning of the divine within the living tissue of a body to Creative Energies. This alone is healing. Whether it is accomplished by the use of drugs, the knife or...[anything else], it is the attuning of the atomic structure of the living force to its spiritual heritage."

Godspeed and bless you in your recovery Anne...sending good thoughts. We should do such on thursday's group meditation.

Best to Both...

Whitley & Anne, Your journey here in this world has touched my life for many years and it is my solemn hope that , in some way, I may touch yours. I pray for Our Father's will to be done and that his mercy and grace be upon you as you pass through this challenge. Your marriage and the paths you are on have many correlations to those of my marriage and thus I feel ever more close to your struggles. Know that your community here and other true friends across the spans of time are with you in spirit and in prayer. May God bless us all.

Anne & Whitley,
As a Dreamland listener for well over a decade, I feel like both of you are friends, even though we have never met. I hope for all the best and will offer up prayers for both of you. Strength and blessings to all of your family.

My prayers are with you both, Whitley. I have always felt that you and Anne have a very special relationship. Your courage, determination and honesty are an inspiration to me. Your journey, which you have shared with us so openly, has affected my life deeply. Thank you for the very meaningful work that you do here and God bless you both.

How deeply I sorrow, Whitley, to read of the diagnosis of your beloved Anne.

I thank the two of you for sharing this information, as you have both shared with your readers so much of your lives.

Some friends of mine, a married couple in their sixties, have recently had cancer scares. The husband has been given a clean bill of health; the wife’s biopsy results are still pending. Weeks ago, more frightened I think for her husband than for herself, the wife said to me, it’s too soon.

As it would be too soon for you and Anne. For a happily mated pair, it is always too soon.

Statistically unlikely remissions, whether temporary or permanent – miracles, if you will -- take place with all malignancies.

My prayers are with you both.

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