Back on May 1, Anne had surgery to remove what was thought to be a benign tumor called a meningioma from the area in her brain where her bleed had taken place in 2004. We were dismayed to be given a far more serious diagnosis once the doctors could actually do studies of the tumor. She has a very, very dangerous cancer called a glioblastoma multiforme and worse, another very rare but dangerous tumor called a gliosarcoma. This second tumor could be a consequence of getting radiation from CT-scans in 2004, or it could be associated with an earlier incident that took place in 1992 or 1993 in our cabin. I think it might also have something to do with Fukushima. Maybe they both do, but so far no statistics have emerged that would suggest this. My problem with that is, would we be told if Fukushima radiation was causing cancer here?
Here is what happened at the cabin: One night, I saw a reddish glow coming from the living room. I ran to the balcony that overlooked it and observed a reddish-orange orb hanging just above the couch. Our Burmese cat Sadie was on the back of the couch and appeared to be moving toward it. By that time, I had a camera ready, but as I ran to the bedroom to grab it, there was a flash of light and when I got back, the orb was gone.
Sadie was curled up in a ball on the couch. When I roused her, she seemed all right, so I went to bed. But the next morning, she came struggling down the hallway yowling. I could see growths in both of her eyes. When we took her to the vet, we found that she had suddenly gotten cancer. She died within a couple of weeks. Two years later the other cat, which had been asleep in our bed upstairs, also died of cancer.
Did Anne and I receive radiation doses then, and is that why she has a gliosarcoma? I was physically closer to the event than Anne was, so if I come down with a radiation-associated tumor also, then we'll know, but there is presently no way to tell. What we do know is that we are facing the most serious crisis of our lives. My wife of 42 years, 66 years old and previously in excellent health, may not survive this.
We are taking a four-pronged approach to the illness. First, we're going with the standard radiation-chemotherapy protocol. This will not cure the cancer, but if it works well, it could give Anne some good years. We have also set up a program of supplements and gone on a ketogenic diet. This last is a very rigorous version of the Atkins diet that eliminates absolutely all sugars and carbs. The reason for the diet is that tumors can only feed on glucose, and this drops your glucose levels to rock bottom, causing most of your normal cells to feed on what are called ketones instead, and leaving the cancer cells to starve.
We are also taking up Qi Gong with a master associated with the UCLA Medical Center who is himself a cancer survivor of many years standing. The energetic approach offered by Qi Gong has been beneficial to many cancer patients.
Unfortunately, Anne's tumor is not accessible to any of the promising therapies now in advanced clinical trials, so we don't have the option to go on a clinical trial. A second round of chemotherapy with a drug called Avastin will be available to us when and if the cancer starts to grow again. Our oncologist is one of the inventors of this treatment, so we can be assure of the best possible management should it become necessary.
However, the truth that we are both facing together is that there is a much greater probability of death here than we had ever expected. As all of you know, I have been on a profound spiritual journey. I know that there is not only an afterlife, but that it is much richer and more varied than this one, where we are inserted into these very dense bodies that prevent us from seeing outside of the time stream. We come into this state in order to be able to act entirely out of our essences, without the enormous knowledge that attaches to 'normal' life, which is life outside of the body and outside of time. Earth, like many other such worlds, is a place of self-testing and self-discovery.
Anne has had very few instances of contact with the outside world, but just enough to make her pretty sure that there is an afterlife, but that our religions and belief systems offer very little real knowledge of it. I'm in a different position. I explored this other reality for years. I know for certain that it is there--that, in fact, physical life is embedded in it, a very small part of a much larger spectrum of consciousness.
Still, facing the next phase is hard. It's scary. Anne is a brave human being, and has nothing to take with her from this life of which she need be in the least ashamed. When she had her NDE in 2004, she saw people sitting and waiting, clutching bundles of things that they could not let go from this life. Anne will step off free of such bundles, and will soar.
If it happens this way, I am going to have a huge personal struggle. We are deeply, profoundly bonded. It is a truly symbiotic marriage. If I must slog on alone in this unforgiving density, I really cannot think how I will bear it.
If I must, though, I will. I am quite certain that we will continue on together in some way. But right now, our focus is on the present and on accomplishing the impossible. We seek to learn to live with this eerie visitor who has insinuated itself into our lives. We know that he will not leave the house of her body, but perhaps we can lull him to sleep there, we hope for a long time.