Whitley's Journal

Christmas 2011

It is a late hour. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I sit listening to Rachmaninoff's Vocalise sung by Anna Moffo, which I would listen to on nights when I felt that the visitors were coming. They would cast such a spell over me on those nights, with their strangeness and their longing. They seemed far from home, but not physically; rather, from a home that is deep in the heart. They were seekers, looking for something they had lost, which was why, after my initial disquiet, I felt such a closeness to them.

After my family had gone to sleep, I would put on my coat and hat and take my flashlight and go out into the woods, deeper and deeper, in the moonlight or the starlight, into great silence. There were some old Indian graves out there, and sometimes I would sit among them and feel the concentration of being that was there.

I've been writing about my life then, when I was possessed by that secret love. It was a dangerous love, ready at any moment to consume me like a fire. But, looking back, it was also a deep emotional satisfaction. Throughout my adult life, I have been seeking toward higher consciousness, to taste moments of sweet being, in the action that unfolds beyond meditation, and the people I met in those woods lived in the state to which I aspired. It was long ago, though, and I was a young man. Now I am at rest in myself as they were then and, having done with me what they set out to do, they have moved on. And yet, I have not lost contact with them. To the contrary, I have gained access to new being and knowledge that I cannot yet quite communicate, but will before too long.

It's Christmas, the season of birth and renewal, the time that they first came to me with their slap of awakening. Now I am grown old in this new state, and yet I remember as if they were still falling, the snowflakes that fell on my gloves in the hours before they first came. On the evening of December 26, 1985, we took a walk along the road beside our cabin, just as night was gathering. It seemed a perfect moment, the snow falling in large, crystalline flakes, the silence profound but for its whisper in the pines.

In recent years, I have come to a new depth of inner silence. Before they came, I engaged in inner work, rowing slowly toward some end that I could not quite discern. Then they came, an explosion of education and wisdom that has left me understanding that we are actually embedded in a much greater reality, physical beings drifting in an ocean of conscious energy. I have lost interest in the question of whether or not there is a soul. I live in two worlds now. One is this physical reality. The other is far more vast and more vividly alive, which is the conscious energy that streams through space and time, endless, poignant, surrendered and compassionate.

We have come out of it and entered these bodies of ours so that we will not have access to the understanding that fills the very air around us. We have done this so that we will act without restraint from our own essences, and thus find out the truth about ourselves. This is a school of self-discovery, carefully designed so that we will not have access to the insight that pervades conscious energy, but rather will have only our deepest selves to turn to.

When we die and are released from this restraint, there follows immediately an explosion of conscience as we look across our lives and discover what our essence truly is.

I am so lonely, and yet so deeply at home in myself, at ease with my presence in consciousness, no longer isolated by my body from the living energetic world. My heart is deep in silence. The profundity of the season is upon me, as the time after the solstice brings, minute by minute, the return of the sun and the promise of the new year.

2012 approaches, and with it my hope to find deeper compassion for my fellow man and for all creatures, and no matter if they are here on this planet or somewhere else along the paths of life that spread throughout the universe.

Peace has come to my heart, and this season always reminds me of my journey, and the kindness of those who came out of the night to draw me along the path that has become my life. Have joy.

Whitley, thank you for a moving holiday journal entry. You have no idea how profound an effect your open and courageous exploration has had on my life, as I'm certain it has had on so many others. I thank both you and Anne for all that you've contributed to the world. If there's a more loving salutation than "Have joy," I'm happily waiting to hear it! May you and your family, and all you care about, have joy as well.

Dear Anne & Whitley:
I've never written before, but, I feel compelled to tell you how much both of you, this website and our subscribers have met to me. Sometime, it seems the culture tries to squeeze all the mystery out of our lives. But, every week, on Dreamland, I find something that makes me think a new thought, or some new idea that comforts me or challenges me.
I am not alone in the search for the true meaning of our existence.
To extend love is to ascend, have Joy. Thank you, Whitley and Anne!
Love and best wishes to my family and friends of Dreamland,

The journey without distance...thanks for sharing it with us.

Everything perishes but His Face.

I have read something recently about joy which makes it seem so much more than just happiness. The emotion of happiness (or unhappiness) can be fleeting. But joy, well, here is what I read: "Joy, rather than happiness, is the goal of life, for joy is the emotion which accompanies our fulfilling our natures as human beings. It is based on the experience of one's identity as a being of worth and dignity." - Rollo May

Have Joy in this silent reflective season full of majic. I must tell you of a strange encounter in a hustle bustle strip mall breezeway. I parked in the rear of a crowded suburban strip mall on a sat morning at 10am. The back parking lots were realtively empty with the usual dumpsters & few cars. I wanted to access the ATM for some Christmas money to buy gifts. I admit I was grouchy with the Holiday stress & approaching family visits. An old man in a 70's era ski vest with a white beard & bald head came toward me in the cold breezeway. I noticed how skinny he was and his belt was cinched in to the last hole & the excess belt was flapping as he walked. I thought: "Oh boy! not only am I being pan handled in the city but now the suburbs!"
The odd man said, "Hello handsome father of two healthy daughters, you are blessed." I stopped and smiled and was in shock as I watched him round the corner.How could he know I thought? woah....is he? was he?....I then collected my senses and walked to the corner and he was no where to be seen in a vast expansive parking lot with few cars. Who was he?

Beautiful, Whitley. I enjoy these entries much more than when you write from a place of frustration.

Have Joy.

Thank you Whitley, for your incredible books and stories, for you and Anne and all who help you make this wonderful website for us seekers of truth...And thank you for never wavering from your truths and explorations and sharing them all with us.
I feel your age comments succinctly....I am 56 my father died last year as well as our pet cat within months of each other and with the same stomach cancer...
I have been out of work for two years plus now which makes everything tougher...but I will never stop subscribing or reading your Books....they are very important to me....I hope 2012 will be better but I also fear the Mayan Prophecy etc....nowhere to run....

Your Dreamland Conventions sound fantastic....hope to attend one of these years...

Anyway Best Wishes for a great New Year to you and Anne and please keep informing us of all your experiences and thoughts ...my father lived to be 92 and with my myriad of health problems I know I will not last anywhere near that long...I would like to have the profound inner peace you have Whitley maybe I should try to learn how to meditate...sounds like that is a beginning to many things...

Thank you again to Whitley and Anne and all who help them make this great website...

Thanks for this Whitley. And thanks to my friend James Day for that wonderful story as well.

When we stop exploring, we start dying. In 2012, let us strengthen our connection to Source and realize separation is illusion--all are One.

Mr. Strieber,
What about God? Like many others on this site, I am a great admirer of yours. Since I first read Communion in 1988 I've been struck by your integrity, your strength of character - both in the face of success and of failure -- and your true humility. You and your work have changed my life. Thank you. Recently, I noticed you've made comments that you've become dubious about the existence of God. I must say that I've been very curious regarding what you may or may not have learned of the existence of God in the course of your experiences. I guess you could say I've been waiting, hoping that you would one day address that question head on. You say that you've become dubious but I wonder how your sentiment is shaped by the fact the the MOTK repeatedly referenced God while in your presence, or that you so distinctly felt the hand of God during your time travel experience as reported in the Secret School, or that you were left to reflect upon the "beauty of God" during an experience you reported, I believe, to have taken place in San Francisco. What have the visitors communicated to you? If you do not believe, based upon your experiences, then who was the MOTK speaking of? Be assured, sir, I am no fanatic, and I would not turn to you for "the answer." But I liken most of us to the Spaniards left behind by Columbus who sailed to the New World and beheld marvels the rest of us could only ask him about upon his return. So I don't ask for an answer but I pose the question: what did you see? Isn't it time you answered? As always, thank you for what you do and who you are.

I really enjoy my subscription to your website. It might be to your advantage to sell audio books. I enjoy listening to you as well as Roddy McDowell. I would purchase your audio books - just a thought.

You have no idea how much pleasure and joy your books have brought me. This Christmas Eve journal entry is so moving. The Sufis say, "The Ultimate Reality, who cannot fit into the entire universe, can fit inside the human heart." There truly is a deep peace hidden in all our hearts. In the 1980's, shortly after visiting "Circle Sanctuary" and getting to know Selena and her husband, I read your book "Cat Magic". I experienced something very profound in your writing. You continue to amaze me and you are bringing something special to the world. Please continue to communicate your experience and knowledge. Thanks again for touching my heart with your words.

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