Anne's Diary

What My Life is Like Now

I have finally had the staples taken out of my head. (Staples are the new version of stitches.) So I no longer feel like I’m sleeping on a handful of safety pins. I'm also getting used to people trying to get blood samples out of my tiny veins. I am afraid I have a rep among the phlebotomists around here!

I still can see very little in my left peripheral field of vision, but I have added a new ingredient to the mix: hallucinations. I will be lying in bed, when all of a sudden I will “see” a row of people stand up to attention, as if they are having a meeting in some military context.

Of course, this is not really happening, but it looks to me as if it is, and it’s so convincing that for a moment I buy into it each time. Many of the hallucinations feature small people who seem very real, and leave me wondering just exactly what is going on. Are they the origins of fairy lore? Am I hallucinating, or seeing real things in another world? My guess is that it’s hallucinations. The doctors are familiar with this as a sequel to the surgery I had, and expect that it will fade away in time. In the meantime I can take medication that will make them go away, or at least bother me less.

I'm fortunate that the weirdness has a name. It's called Charles Bonnet Syndrome, because it was first described by a Swiss doctor of that name in 1769. Some people have it for years, but for most of us it fades in a few weeks or months. Hopefully, I'll be in that group, but if not, well, having fairyfolk traipsing through your life isn't the worst side effect of lifesaving surgery.

One thing about the brain: it’s not amused by somebody going into it with a surgeon’s scalpel, and it lets you know that.



I love your closing line, Anne: " the brain: it’s not amused by somebody going into it with a surgeon’s scalpel..." In my community, we'd respond, "I know that's right!" Blessings to you for a successful surgery; I pray your recovery will be full & complete. Also, did you consider NOT taking the medication & instead, experiencing the hallucinations--allowing them to lead you to deeper exploration?

Hi Anne, nice to hear you are doing better.

Without getting into epistimology and the definitions of reality vs hallucination, I would suggest you simply try speaking to these beings and perhaps offering them some water.

You might also try putting out a peice of paper and see if they won't write something on it. communications, Leaving offerings and "spirit signatures" are a little known but once common practice with spirit beings that were once called "faries".

(Light can sometimes make it harder to see them so try wtih the lights off or low. )

Let's just assume it's all in your head. You still might be able to get some interesting effects from it and perhaps even heal yourself this way. Perhaps this is a way for your conscious mind to speak with the unconscious and even the physical brain?

Of course it's possible they have always been there and you are just now seeing them.

or it could be in your head.

...Or It's all in your head and we don't realize how big our heads are.

anyway, if it works I would love to hear from you.

Be well!

Thinking about you, Anne. Glad to know things went ok. Hope you feel better soon.

It's getting better all the time
Better Better Better
It's getting better all the time
Better Better Better
Getting so much better all the time

Well, we are very glad recovery is happening. What weird things the brain does. Let's hope its very short-term. That's gotta be annoying as heck.

Vedrai tu che domani sia migliore per sempre, che non sei mai da solo. Abbi gioja...

God hold you in the palm of her hand and make room for Whitley as well.
Candace

I'm glad that you are recovering and well for a long time, hopefully.

I wish that I could see you and everybody else in Memphis. Once again, it looks like maybe next year for me.

Feel Better Anne, keep us updated!

Anne, here is a video of Oliver Sacks discussing Charles Bonnet Syndrome. It's quite fascinating. I hope it answers some questions for you and eases your mind.

http://youtu.be/SgOTaXhbqPQ

In the meantime, you and Whitley are in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings.

Hi Anne...what wonderful comments you are receiving...very loving people are here:)
About your visitors...why not pretend they are for real and are working on you...for the good...and just observe. Just sayin' :) V.

I am holding you in the Light! I know you will make a speedy recovery! Thanks for continuing to share your experiences with us. Love the beautiful comments your receiving.

Anne, thinking of you this evening and praying that you are healing.....

Your strength and the positive way you face your challenges are great examples to be followed and a gift for us all. Be blessed and recover soon!

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