Anne's Diary

Going Home

Even places you're not sure you like all that much can become "home" if you stay there long enough. I feel that way about Texas--it's not a place that fits the way I think, but I made lots of good friends there and I miss them all terribly.

I was reminded of this when I read that Cicely Tyson just won the Tony for starring in "The Trip to Bountiful" on Broadway, a movie that garnered the great actress Geraldine Page an Academy Award in 1985. I was lucky enough to hear the playwright, Texan Horton Foote, speak when we lived in Texas.

Doing this play with an-all black cast was Tyson's idea (the movie had an all-white cast). I think this is especially poignant because in 1985, which is when the movie appears to be set, racism was still on rampaging across the South (especially in little towns like "Bountiful") and the Houston relatives with which the elderly woman is now living can't comprehend why their mother would want to return to a place where she was obviously discriminated against, when she could stay in a big city with much more progressive values.

But despite all its flaws, she wants to go home.

I think many of us feel that way about the places we eventually call "home," no matter what experiences we had there. I feel nostalgic for Ann Arbor, Michigan, and even took my(then new) husband there many years ago--this despite the fact that it was the place where my mother killed herself and I ended up living with a cruel stepmother, who even made me CLEAN (like some sort of "Cinderella").

I drew the line at going to a reunion in he little town where I went to middle and high school, however, after my parents moved to the country, just across the county line, to save on taxes. I could have gone to a public school in a university town and instead ended up attending school with the sons and daughters of farmers and assembly line workers. I made friends, but I had no one to exchange "intellectual" ideas with.

Except for my boyfriend--I remember how I lost my virginity with him in the basement under the family's pool table.

Hey, maybe I SHOULD have gone to that reunion so I could see him again.




It seems odd to me sometimes, yet oddly perfect, the way lives are "balanced" these dayz in such a way -- no one ever seems to have everything -- but we always have some very good things along w/the bad. I think having someone you can be "at home" with is a wonderful blessing. I know that it is challenging because then there's always someone there who can see to the heart of ourselves -- for better or worse -- but I think the rewards outweigh the difficulties encountered.

One of the things I love about technology today is our ability to live and/or travel in so many places throughout our lives -- and even keep in touch w/our past places and friends -- I know how you feel about home. A place that was once felt to be home can remain 4ever to feel that way. and to keep in touch w/friends and acquaintances -- what a joy!

During the past year, due to my transportation route and place of employment -- I have taken a trip down memory lane -- passing on a weekly basis -- places -- old homes of mine, my parents -- old schools and places I/they frequented. I wonder if there isn't a kind of accounting going on in my life now. Death or Rebirth -- that is the question.

I hope you and Whitley are taking some time to stop and smell the roses. I was concerned about the pace Whitley was setting for himself -- or feeling he needed to. Its hard to be impatient (grumble, grumble). I think, in your illness, Anne -- you have once again helped to center him and help him not sweat the small stuff. You continue to amaze me, Anne :) I hope you continue to care for and take care of each other. Love is most powerful medicine of all. With love -- I believe we can all go home :) -- whatever home means to each and everyone of us.

BLUE, this is a lovely post. Anne, I don’t think most of us out here thank YOU and WHITLEY near enough for all the effort put forth on this website (through good times and bad times in your own personal lives). There is an old saying that goes, “Home is where you hang your hat.” In our current society, so many people have been separated from their families because of jobs/careers; I believe much is sacrificed in doing so but it seems to be the way of the world. Thank you Anne for being Whitley’s support and thank you Whitley for being Anne’s support.

It's one of the nice things about modern life, that one can move over a thousand miles and think about going back for visits. There was once a time when it was not so easy and people who did it typically left knowing that the likelihood was, they would never see the place again.

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