Anne's Diary

Communicating with a Light Switch

On a recent trip to New York City, we stayed at our favorite small hotel. We had scheduled meetings with some of our publishers, as well as a breakfast meeting with an old friend who is in the midst of making a documentary about Whitley. This man has always been rather dismissive of me--which is something I resent--even going so far as to tell me to "shut up" one time (something I don't take well to!) Since I am the main "idea person" on the Anne-and-Whitley team, I also find this distressing because I feel I have a lot to contribute and can help made the project more successful.

I was lying awake in the hotel room the night before this meeting, my mind flowing from one subject to another as we tend to do during times of insomnia, when one of the places it stopped was the fact that, while I know so much about the Visitors from talking with other people, I personally have had almost no experiences of my own. Whitley and I feel that this is due to the "role" of the objective skeptic, which I've elected (or been given?) to play, but it can be frustrating at times--sort of like being in a store full of candy but not able to eat any (a scene like a nightmare than a dream). Many people who have written us describe small balls of light--and suddenly I SAW THEM. There they were, against the far wall, red lights dancing around slightly, just like so many of the descriptions I've read.

Some of the people who have experienced these have thought they were a form of Visitors, while others decided they were being visited by the dead. I decided to ask them for help and directed a thought to them: "Please help me to deal with what I'm dreading so much tomorrow." Suddenly I felt calmer, as if I could take care of whatever insults or comments arose. Newly confident, I was able to go back to sleep.

We got up early to go downtown for the meeting, picking up some muffins on the way, and made it on time. I can't say that my contributions were listened to, but I made them without fear and when the filmmaker dismissed them, I frankly told him, right to his face, to go to hell. I said this several times, and while I'm not sure he got the message, it certainly made ME feel better.

Later, when we returned to our hotel, I realized what I had been talking to for so much of that restless night were merely the light switches on the wall. There were two of them there, both fitted out with small, red glowing nightlights so they could be located in the dark, and this is what I had seen. Their "movement" had obviously been an artifact caused by my sleepless, watery eyes. At one time, a realization like this would have humbled and embarrassed me but, newly confident and energized by my conversation with the light switches, I instead began to reflect calmly on what had happened. I had obviously been talking to MYSELF and it was my own mind that gave me the confidence to hold my own in that meeting, but that doesn't mean that there was "nobody there."

In Luke 17:19-21, Jesus--my favorite shaman--tells his disciples that "The kingdom of God is within you." Buddhists would agree with this. Maybe finding God within you is what prayer is all about. I realized that I had the answer all the time--I just had to find it within myself.


Anne, you're awesome! That is so cool that you took something like this and turned it into a positive event in your life. Part of what makes all of us feel so endeared to you is your honest humanness. Oh, and I think that guy is an a**hole.

Thank you for sharing this. Very meaningful to me at this time in my life.

Well done, Anne! The documentarist sounds a right 'Charlie' to me. He has no idea what he is missing by ignoring your ideas.
More to the point, I can't see how he can do a doccie on Whitley without including you, especially since you are Whitley's soulmate, sounding board and utterly conversant with the Communion Letters to boot. Perhaps, he is just a run of the mill misogynist and it's not 'personal' but his antagonistic rudeness suggests outright jealousy of your relationship with Whitley.
To paraphrase LInda Ellerbee whose comment on the woman who took Rosa Parks for a washroom attendant at a Decmocratic Convention: You can't fix ignorant. (Linda actually said, "You can't fix stupid". I'll second that, too).

I like this. You accomplished what you set out to do and did not worry how it was taken. You cannot control how other people respond to it anyway. You acted in a way true to yourself and that is all we can do.

Thanks for sharing your story Anne. I have also found that as soon as we are receptive the peace we seek is already there.

What a rude man anne, hope he got the message about going to hell, however when i meet people like that from time to time as we all do, i find that sarcasm (the lowest form of wit i know but love) and reverse psychology a treat at showing these people we cant be talked down to. Regards lisa x

Hi Anne
Whitley talked about him a few weeks ago on Dreamland I think ...I know "him" and worked with him a few years ago. He is a bit of a funny bird. But we all are strange in our own ways. As a boy raised in the south I know that any man who tells a woman to "shut up" needs a "let's sit down on the front porch and have a bitter lemonade" sort of talk. LOL... But good for you. Creative people can sometimes forget to stay open to other creative people. We get 'set" on an idea and hold on to it like a crazy dog with a bone. Sounds like you said what you needed to say... that is really all you can do. So have ears and some do not.

Anne,

I read this comment and made a reply that i sent to you in email and posted on my humble personal earthlink website:
http://home.earthlink.net/~redwhisker/id12.html
Hope you like it as I recieved no reply back, and just found out William Henry was not getting my emails either :-(
Michael :-)

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