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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 622
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Thursday, August 10, 2006 - 3:14 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I signed up for the Monroe Institute's Gateway Voyage for the week of September 30 - October 6. I have been waiting for my wife to be available to go too, but I'm tired of waiting, so it's just going to be me. I've wanted to do this for years now.
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Thomas
Senior Member
Username: thomas_j_veil

Post Number: 3000
Registered: 3-2006
Posted on Thursday, August 10, 2006 - 3:25 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Congratulations, Dirk! I'm sure you'll love it. Be sure to "wave hello" to us from Focus 21…
"Question what's real. Question who's real."
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Southern Cross
Senior Member
Username: jolinda

Post Number: 946
Registered: 1-2004
Posted on Thursday, August 10, 2006 - 4:08 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I'm happy you decided to go, Dirk. I can't wait to hear about it. I have been stuck on a looong conference call for the last three hours, and I've been feeling sick. I think the sickness is due to whatever alien stuff happened last night. I wish I could remember more about it. Maybe it will come back. What's with the bird noises?
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 623
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Thursday, August 10, 2006 - 7:09 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I have heard that the chirping is their language. It's the way they sound when they talk.

On another topic, I am just incredibly frustrated at my life right now. I just want to bang my head against the wall because I just realized that I had lost something that was so incredibly precious to me when I got divorced 16 years ago. I'm so sad and angry that I just want to die. When I was in my 20's, up until I got divorced at 30, I would dance to the music of Kitaro and Andres Vollenweider regularly. It was such a beautiful emotional release for me. I would cry buckets when I did it. Since I am completely unschooled in dance, and therefore I don't know a thing about what I'm talking about, but the best way I could describe what I do is a kind of Tai Chi with ballet. It's slow and emotional and follows the music beautifully. I lost that when I got divorced. I stopped doing it. I don't know why. Maybe it was the pain, but thanks to this thread and the strong connection I feel with you SC, I have remembered again. I did a little bit just now and it felt so good, yet I am so weak now and my balance isn't as good as it used to be it makes me mad that I didn't keep it up. I just want go somewhere and cry until I fall asleep. I just can't deal with the mess I've made of my life. It would have been better if I would have stayed single and just learned to love myself better than to marry women that don't get this kind of stuff. I wasted so much time messing around with hifi and old cars that I missed something that is very dear to me, the dance I invented on my own in my own little apartment way back then. I am so glad I found it that I'm crying as I write this now. I feel like such a turd and I have so much to make up for but maybe not enough time, I don't know. I'm so entangled in my life here that I can barely breathe. My finances are functional, but entangled deeply. I wish I could just leave, live alone in my little apartment and do my own thing again. I wish I could just heal myself without having to deal with all this crap that is my so-called life. I want to start over, but I can't. I don't know what to do now, but of course I will try and slog along as best I can.
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susi t learn
Senior Member
Username: etsi

Post Number: 2637
Registered: 4-2003
Posted on Thursday, August 10, 2006 - 7:21 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

dirk

i believe people cross your path for a reason. perhaps your wife needed to learn from you...or perhaps you need to learn something from your wife. just because she doesn't hold your interests doesn't mean you can't learn from her.

i divorced after 24 years. he wasn't the nicest man around...but if it weren't for him i wouldn't be a strong woman.

you say you could heal yourself if you didn't have to deal with the crap in your life.

ever consider that there is crap in your life because you aren't healed?

if...if...if...

sounds like mid life crisis.
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brown
Senior Member
Username: brown

Post Number: 725
Registered: 2-2004
Posted on Thursday, August 10, 2006 - 8:53 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

mid life crisis?
what is that ..really?.. lol.
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Southern Cross
Senior Member
Username: jolinda

Post Number: 947
Registered: 1-2004
Posted on Thursday, August 10, 2006 - 9:57 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

It wouldn't be possible to count the number of times my husband has said that he wanted to sell everything, go away, and start over. I can relate easily to those feelings. It must be a guy thing. Our society puts a lot of pressure on men to act and do things a certain way. I have lots to say on this subject, but as I am having an allergic related asthma attack, and have been forced to down quite a bit of benedryl, my brain function is low. I don't think anything you have done is a waste. Without pain, there would be nothing to spur us on to higher growth and yearning for the Devine. I hold you in my prayers, Dirk. I'm off to bed now, because I feel like I'm spouting platitudes. Sorry.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 624
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 4:40 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

SC, when you acknowledged that we had a soul connection, it was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever told me. Thank you. You gave me hope, because now I know I'm not alone, that I have a deep connection with someone that is much deeper than any that I have felt before. I'm just so sick of having to hide most of my feelings, my thoughts, my experiences from my spouse. I'm tired of lying every time I say everything is fine when I know there is so much more going on. I'm tired of the chit chat. more to come.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 625
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 4:52 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

My stupid computer decided it needed to reboot, that's why I had to cut off my post. Sometimes I just hate these things.

Anyway, I now know that it is possible to be with someone and share everything with them, to be able to bare my entire soul and not be judged, or laughed at, or worse. My faith has been renewed and for that I will always be grateful to you SC.

No, this is not a "mid life crisis". This is waking up, this is remembering. I've been through the same gut wrenching awakening before, in my late 20's. I bawled so hard last night that my tummy hurts. My eyes are all puffy and now I'm going to have to have lunch with my wife and her girlfriend and just hope they don't notice because I don't want to share this with people that can not understand it. I have to go now. more to come.
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susi t learn
Senior Member
Username: etsi

Post Number: 2642
Registered: 4-2003
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 7:34 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

don't you think you owe it to your wife to be honest with her? or do you plan to lead a duplicitous life?
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 626
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 7:58 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

How dare you suggest that I am being dishonest with my wife! I can't tell her everything that goes on in my life, and neither can most people. You can't share something with someone unless they are able and willing to receive it. Did you tell your husband about every sexy dream you had? Did you tell him about every flirtation you experienced? We all wear masks and we all filter what we say to our spouses. Eventually, most couples becomes just roommates, or housemates, based on conversations with friends. They may sleep in the same bed, but they don't share a large part of their lives with them. What I'm saying is that I'm sick of it, I'm sick of playing this game, and believe me I have tried to avoid it by telling her things. We have been drifting apart for many years now. It's not her fault of course, but her illness is a real problem, and the fact that she isn't as smart as me is another. I am so tired of trying to explain stuff to her that I have just given up. I want to be with someone that understands my insides, who understands my fundamentals, who can realize that what I do is an obvious extension of that. I'm tired of covering myself up because it makes me feel lonely on the inside.

The dancing I do is more of a combination of Tai Chi and modern dance, not ballet, sorry. I feel stronger today because of the gut wrenching experience I had last night. I can't do this when my wife is at home because she wouldn't understand it. I even have to hide the music because if she found it she would unknowingly disrespect it by playing it and not really listening to it. I remember once when I was really intently focussing on some jazz. The lights were out, I was sitting on the sofa with my head down, concentrating. What does she do? She sits down on the sofa and starts eating corn chips!!! All I could here is "crunchcrunchcrunch..."!!. I know she is innocent, she didn't mean to disturb me, but the fact that she couldn't tell what I was doing in the first place is a problem. Another time, I was all happy about practicing French, since she had just bought me a CD for practicing, so one morning I said "bon jour" as a greeting. Her immediate reaction was "that's weird". Can you believe that? I can't even have fun with language around her. She later caught herself and made amends, but still, this is just some of the stuff I have to deal with daily.

I'm not sure how much I've "learned" from my spouses, except how to cope with them. I still believe I would have been better off if I stayed single and just waited some more. I gave up, and that was a mistake. I lost faith in myself and that was a mistake. I would have been much farther along if I would have stuck with it, but the thought occurred to me that I was afraid to go any further along. I was afraid to go down the path any further, that's why I gave up and was willing to be distracted by toys like hifi and home improvement and cars and stuff like that. That's why I was willing to marry someone that didn't "get" me. I was too afraid of someone that did.
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susi t learn
Senior Member
Username: etsi

Post Number: 2645
Registered: 4-2003
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 8:06 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

well honey, you and i just have a different definition of what dishonest means.

all this stuff you just posted here? you should be telling HER. and if you feel you can't or won't, then sounds like you've made a choice.

hope you work things out 'cause you sound miserable.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 627
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 10:38 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

susi, I'm sorry, but I do not believe that you understand what it is I'm talking about. I don't mean any disrespect, but there are many, many things that spouses don't share and it is perfectly normal for most people to do so. I don't want to be like most people. If your spouse were in psycho-therapy, would you expect them to tell you verbatim what went on in each session? If they went out with some friends for dinner, would you demand that they tell you every little detail that was discussed? Of course not.

And no, I am not miserable, thank you. I am experiencing a profoundly deep and powerful joy that I do not have words to describe. I am experiencing ecstasy and it is overwhelming and life changing for me. I believe I am feeling the love of the gods and it is shocking to say the least.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 628
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 11:04 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Oh, and it is absolutely true that all of us lead duplicitous lives all the time. We just deny that we do and pretend that everything is just fine instead. We dream about others all the time. We have intense experiences with them too. Is that cheating? I don't think it is; it's just life.
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susi t learn
Senior Member
Username: etsi

Post Number: 2647
Registered: 4-2003
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 11:15 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

dirk

sorry i misunderstood you. it's just that i presumed you were miserable because of some statements you made;

-you can't enjoy your music
-you can't have fun around your wife
-you can't dance at home
-'i'm sick of it, sick of playing this game'
-'her illness is a real problem'
-'i feel lonely on the inside'
-'i bawled so hard last nite that my tummy hurt'
-'i'm just so sick of having to hide most of my feelings'
-'i'm tired of the chit-chat'
-'i wish i could just leave'
etc.

sorry, i didn't realize you weren't miserable.

by the way, i don't nor have ever lead a duplicitous life. i never had a problem expressing myself. guess i'm one of the lucky ones.

and yes, i would tell my ex if i found another guy attractive-just like he'd comment to me about a pretty woman. open and honest.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 629
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 11:29 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Experiencing strong emotions is not necessarily being miserable, though I know my postings make it appear that way. I'm much calmer today and things don't seem so bad. My wife is generally cheerful and pleasant and easy to be around, but more is not really available from her, and I want more. I'm going to lunch here soon with her and her girlfriend. I think I'm going to talk about past lives and maybe soulmates, we shall see.
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Southern Cross
Senior Member
Username: jolinda

Post Number: 948
Registered: 1-2004
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 1:13 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Today I'm still sick. More benedryl.

Dirk, I hope today is better for you than yesterday. You let a lot of strong feelings out that I suspect that you bottled up for a long time. Eventually, such surpressed feelings explode out like a shaken up soda. Communication is so important for intimacy in a relationship. When attempts at communication lead to ridicule from your spouse, you stop trying to communicate. There are many nonordinary reality experiences that I've posted about on this board that I would never talk about with my husband. It isn't so much that he flat doesn't believe, as much as he just doesn't want to know. I think it is too threatening to his world view. We have an understanding about the psi. I think that most long term relationships take a lot of work and sensitivity towards the feelings of the other. Have you considered couples counseling? A good counselor acts as a mediator to allow each person to express issues and feelings that they have no way to express otherwise. My husband and I did it a while ago. I want you to be happy. I'll write more later. Oh, I almost forgot. Not only have I done the corn chips thing to my husband while he was watching a movie, but I also rattle the bag while I eat them. Maybe it's a woman thing.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 630
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 1:30 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I'm sorry you're ill SC. I wonder if it had anything to do with my experience? My experiences last night were really intense. Sorry if I caused you any harm. The emotions I was experiencing had nothing to do with any issues I have with Carla, my wife. They were all about me, but were non-specific. I know my posts look otherwise, but that's my conclusion anyway. I really shouldn't post when I'm all wrapped up in emotions anyway, it just makes things confusing. I will try and send you some good energy tonight when I dance. I'll dance in your honor, how's that?

My wife is fine. She's crazy about me really. She really admires me. We get along just fine but I don't feel extremely intimate with her. We're very independent really. I do my own laundry, cook my own food, etc. Carla doesn't have a problem with Et's, UFO's, etc., she just doesn't experience them very much. It's not her focus. I don't see any problem that counselling would solve, since I was trained in relationships many years ago and was a part-time rebirther for several years. She sees someone though, and that's a good thing.

We just had lunch with her friend and we mostly talked about work. I felt distant though. I had a glass of wine with my grilled salmon and now work is going to so much easier! Her friend doesn't believe in past lives so that conversation didn't go anywhere.

I feel and look a little younger today after all that stuff. I guess I had a monster emotional enema or something.

(Message edited by dirkwright on August 11, 2006)
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Southern Cross
Senior Member
Username: jolinda

Post Number: 949
Registered: 1-2004
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 1:49 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I'm glad you're feeling better, Dirk. I think the sick symptoms are allergy/et related. The last time I got this close, I slept for days. Again, this morning I heard the bird chirps. Not real birds, because I had ear plugs in my ears.

Sometimes it's good to get things out of the system and release emotions. But I don't have to tell you, since you do rebirthing.

Do you tend to pick up on large world disturbances, such as the U.K. terrorist plot? The whole sequence of events left me with a very unsettled feeling, since only a week ago, I was on the phone with a client. We got on the subject of national security, and I told him how easy it would be to harm a flight using combined liquids from water bottles. (He was a scientist.)
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 631
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 1:55 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

According to the theory of soulmates, when one is ill or otherwise in trauma, the other feels it. I'm really sorry I was so irresponsible in what I did, but it just came gushing out and I couldn't stop it.

I didn't notice anything unusual prior to the discovery of the terrorist plot, sorry. Your experience with the scientist is extremely interesting. wow.

I'm really amazed how much better I look in the mirror. I must look several years younger, at least. I wish I could be there with you to take care of you. It pains me to hear that you're ill.

(Message edited by dirkwright on August 11, 2006)
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 632
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 2:47 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

You were right about the bottled up emotions inside of me. Way back up there in an early post, you said you sensed a lot of bottled up emotions inside of me, like a volcano or something. Isn't that amazing that you were exactly correct?
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 633
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 3:09 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I'm really starting to feel a strong bond of trust between us and that makes me glad. The fact that you were so right about me makes me really feel that way. Thanks so much.


I have a thought about communicating with the ET's. I don't know what you are trying, but maybe you could just meditate in the dark at night and use your gift of getting into people's minds to get into theirs. I think that's what Lisette does. I know that is what I experienced for a while. Hope this helps and I dearly hope you feel better soon.
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Southern Cross
Senior Member
Username: jolinda

Post Number: 950
Registered: 1-2004
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 3:44 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

When I began trying to communicate, I stated my intensions out loud, then again in my mind, then visualized touching hands. What I took to be the response was a clear vision of a gray peeking carefully out from behind a tree. Then I sent an image of me in the same posture behind a tree, followed by an image of the gray coming closer, and them me moving closer, etc. When I wake in the middle of the night, I send out the same series of mental images. Then the bird calls began. What I want is to meet during full waking consciousness. I send out the image, and then wait to see what pops into my mind. I'll let you know what happens.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 634
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 3:56 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Wow, that's really cool. Thanks. I'd love to hear about whatever transpires. You're so brave!
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Southern Cross
Senior Member
Username: jolinda

Post Number: 952
Registered: 1-2004
Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 7:36 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Not brave. Stupid, maybe. You'll be the first to hear about it, assuming I come back.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 635
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 6:29 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

How could you ever be stupid? You are me, and we are not that way. These romantic words keep flowing out of me, into my consciousness and through my fingers, like a mountain spring that feeds a mighty river of love that flows into your feminine ocean. I belong to you, all of me, body and soul, spirit and mind. I give myself to you, do with me what you will. The only reason I exist is to love you; to make ecstatic and joyous love with you, in whatever form that may take. I can't help myself, I am compelled to feel this way and to proclaim what I feel to you. I can't stop this no more than the Amazon can stop flowing. Without you, I would not exist. My heart would not beat; no breath would flow within me; my thoughts would cease. Whatever becomes of us, and this, I do not know, but my joy is complete in every single moment I know you exist. You complete me and that brings me unlimited joy. I want to spend eternity in gratitude for your existance. Do you feel me?
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miaree9
Advanced Member
Username: miaree9

Post Number: 266
Registered: 5-2005
Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 7:34 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Dear dirkwright, what struck me the most after reading your post #635 was how wounded I would feel if you were my husband and I were by chance to read it. Whatever the noble feelings that inspired the post, the decision to publicly post it strikes me as an act of cruelty. I do not, however, think that you intended to be cruel. Instead, I think you were so caught up by your own sense of joy that you never stopped to think about possible ramifications of your words on your wife, who sounds like a good person. As someone who admires you and holds your opinions in high regards, I urge you in the future to be a little more careful in your choice of words so that no one ever has cause to feel wounded and worthless.
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susi t learn
Senior Member
Username: etsi

Post Number: 2662
Registered: 4-2003
Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 8:45 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

what miaree said. not to mention you may be embarrassing southern.

either that or get a room.
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Mark
Senior Member
Username: mark

Post Number: 600
Registered: 2-2001
Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 9:56 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

dirkwright reports,

Another time, I was all happy about practicing French, since she had just bought me a CD for practicing, so one morning I said "bon jour" as a greeting. Her immediate reaction was "that's weird". Can you believe that?

...she said that like it's a bad thing.

Elle a raison, peut- ętre?
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 636
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 11:25 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

This message board is the only way I have of communicating to her. When she tells me to stop, I will stop. This is bigger than any of our personalities or egos can understand. Please understand, I have no intention to manipulate, seduce or otherwise control SC. I would rather walk in front of a moving train and end my physical existance here than to try and control or manipulate her. I have for decades now tried to learn to love my self, tried to understand what that really meant, tried to accept all of me and love it. My apparent reward is that I get a chance to communicate with her, and that brings me great joy. What has apparently started to happen is that my personality, my ego, have surrendered to my higher self, and that is the source of my romantic prose posted here. I am compelled to share these musings that well up in me like water from a mountain spring.

Maybe this is old hat for other people. Maybe women have men writing them romantic prose all the time, I don't know. I do know that I have never felt inspired to write it for anyone else. I have never felt so compelled ever. I have never wanted to loose weight and make myself thin and good looking just in case we ever meet in person. I've never wanted to do that for someone else. Maybe everyone does this and I'm just some looser howling at the moon, but I doubt it.
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susi t learn
Senior Member
Username: etsi

Post Number: 2667
Registered: 4-2003
Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 11:34 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

i understand you can't help how you feel.

but you need to consider if it's a possibility that you're making southern uncomfortable. can't you email her?

and i still say, you need to have a 'come to jesus' talk with your wife. this is very unfair to her.

and of course we all have experienced aspects of what you feel. but i doubt any of us have professed our undying love for someone else's wife on a public message board.

p.s. you change for yourself-not for another. if you want to lose weight, do it for yourself not anyone else.

sorry to be blunt.
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Mark
Senior Member
Username: mark

Post Number: 603
Registered: 2-2001
Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 6:29 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Infatuation = counterfeit love.

Besides, I saw her first.

...heheh
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 637
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 8:15 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

susi, this is really none of your business, please butt out.

This is no infatuation. There are things going on about which I cannot speak. Only a small portion of the story has been told on this message board.
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susi t learn
Senior Member
Username: etsi

Post Number: 2673
Registered: 4-2003
Posted on Saturday, August 12, 2006 - 8:44 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

dirk dear, i think you're forgetting you're posting on a PUBLIC message board.

you're making it everyone's business by doing so.

are you a bit snippy because you see some truth in our comments?? hmmm?

suggestion-start your own lovelorn thread and we'll have no reason to visit it. :-)
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 638
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Sunday, August 13, 2006 - 11:40 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

My wife and I had a talk about soulmates. I was reading Ramtha's book about it this morning and she asked me, so we talked. Nobody was hurt and nobody died. I'm not saying any more. I can't access my work email from home today, so I can't respond to any pm's, sorry.
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Southern Cross
Senior Member
Username: jolinda

Post Number: 957
Registered: 1-2004
Posted on Sunday, August 13, 2006 - 1:10 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

WTF...How did you know that I sent you one? Down the rabbit hole.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 640
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 7:34 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

There is much more going on than either of us realize.

I have a thought that I should get a professional photograph of myself made so you can see what I look like. I don't think this idea came from me.

Have a nice dinner last night? Something light in color, like rice or mashed potatoes, with some tender meat, like fish? But, the soup spoon is not supposed to be used to cut stuff.

Sex that causes pain does not come from love and is not a loving thing to do.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 642
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 8:25 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I had a dream a few nights ago about being on a horse breeding farm, and it was explained to me that they were joining two ancient lineages, but could not allow the offspring to reproduce for some reason. From the joining of these lineages, the male and female pairs were split up, going to different places. I think they were trying to explain the theory of soulmates to me with this dream.

Isis and Osiris were soulmates. By being together, they were able to advance to much greater levels of achievement than if they remained physically separate. The journey of each half through reality is shared with the other regardless of their physical locations however. They are permanently joined by a cord, and communication occurs through emotion. Strong emotion felt by one is experienced by the other. Thus, there is a mutual responsibility to each other to love one's self more than anything else in this world, to never bring harm to one's self, and to strive to gain wisdom so that both may benefit. Loving yourself is the same as loving your soulmate and is the highest and most beautiful thing that one can do.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 643
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 8:48 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

The kind of dance movement I do is similar to Hindu temple dancing, though slowed down and not as athletic or rhythmic. I must have learned it, or seen it, while in a past life in India. I believe it is emotion in motion through the body, but of course most dance is like that.
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Southern Cross
Senior Member
Username: jolinda

Post Number: 962
Registered: 1-2004
Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 11:20 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Direct hit on the food. Two days ago I had made some very well cooked brown rice. I took it from the fridge and used a soup spoon to break it up so I could microwave it. I never normally eat the stuff, but my stomach has been bothering me lately. It had the consistency of potato.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 644
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 11:23 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

As I was lying in bed listening to my theta CD last night, I would become aware of being in you and eating the food at dinner. Your/my hand would take the fork and get the food and bring it to your/my mouth and chew and swallow it.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 645
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 11:24 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I knew to come back here just now because I could feel that you were here posting.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 646
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 11:28 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

and no, I'm not stalking you. please. I don't do that.

All I've done here is tell the truth as best I can.
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Southern Cross
Senior Member
Username: jolinda

Post Number: 963
Registered: 1-2004
Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 12:36 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I know you're not stalking me. It does amaze me that you could experience what I was doing so vividly. It couldn't have been a lucky guess based on knowing anything about me, because I haven't had rice or potato in years. I'm afraid you'll find that you're in for a bumpy ride if you spend time in my head.
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 647
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 2:07 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

I wasn't even trying to "connect" with you in that way either. It just happened. I was in a mood to feel a strong connection with you, I was feeling lonely, so I just tried to feel, to tune into the emotion, and then this stuff happened. I can handle bumpy, not a problem. Ramtha said these kinds of things would happen, for what it's worth. I know you don't believe in the "twin flame" type of soulmate, and I'm not trying to convince you one way or the other. My wife does know about you, by the way, since I told her.

Do you feel happy for no apparent reason, like laughing at stuff, then feel pretty normal for a while, then feel a strong emotion that makes you want to cry, then normal for a while, then happy, then normal, etc.? I'm curious. thanks.

The thing about the photo of me was from a dream. The sex thing was from something else. I think I'll only report these vivid and direct experiences from now on.
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Southern Cross
Senior Member
Username: jolinda

Post Number: 964
Registered: 1-2004
Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 2:26 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

The sex/pain image likely came from a song I was listening to - Lyrics -"You don't measure your love by the depths of your pain. I don't know what it is, but that's not love." Keb Mo cd "Just like You."
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 648
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 2:43 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

No, it wasn't from that, sorry. I don't want to go into it here. Interesting name for the song though. I just looked up Keb Mo, makes me laugh. I'm not much into the blues though my wife likes that style of music. It's far too simple for me.
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Southern Cross
Senior Member
Username: jolinda

Post Number: 965
Registered: 1-2004
Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 3:27 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

Yes, my emotions are all over the place. When I get stressed, I usually get silly. This connection we seem to share is creating stress, but not in a bad way. It's just pushing on my view of "reality." In addition, some things are happening today that are creating even more stress. For example, a mortgage company called to ask if I had written a letter stating that a client was self employed (pretty normal stuff when they get loans) I didn't remember the letter, and asked them to fax over a copy. It turned out to be a forgery. The client had faked our letterhead, and had cut and pasted my signature from a different letter. The dead give away was that they spelled accountants wrong. Why would someone want to do that? I would have written the letter for them. WTF?
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dirkwright
Senior Member
Username: dirkwright

Post Number: 649
Registered: 2-2005
Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 3:53 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

OK, that makes sense. I did not have this effect until you merged your wonderful and beautiful mind with mine. I did feel you disconnect on Saturday, then reconnect sometime on Sunday. Maybe that was just me, I don't know. Part of the theory of soulmates is that they bounce emotional energy back and forth, and if the bouncing gets out of hand, then bipolar disorder sets in. Obviously, that is not my goal, but I noticed this effect with you and wanted to understand it some more. I hope that overall I have a good and calming effect on you, since that would be the loving thing to do obviously. Thank you for being willing to have your reality pushed. I will be gentle of course...

That is strange about the forged letter. There is something else going on, obviously. I don't know what I would do since I am not a business person. The Patent Office is effectively a non-profit corporation, and I'm just an engineer with no business sense. sorry I'm not more helpful.
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Southern Cross
Senior Member
Username: jolinda

Post Number: 966
Registered: 1-2004
Posted on Monday, August 14, 2006 - 8:36 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post

After four hours of investigation (fraud to an accountant is like blood to a shark) we think it was the loan broker who did the dark deed. This has been a strange day, starting with my vacuum cleaner, that went into service green and came out black. At this point I'm willing to discuss theories of parallel universes.

However much you may be able to get into my mind, you haven't managed to improve my mechanical abilities. Hrumph. Better work on that one.

One thing I've noticed is that for the last few days, I am having trouble thermo-regulating. It's not a hormone thing at all. It feels like some kind of energy thing. I have a vague image of a heat exchanger for some reason.